The Zookeeper [2011] [PG] - 4.4.3

 
 

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ASSIGNED NUMBERS

Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

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More than five years after a loveable zookeeper (Kevin James) had his heart broken, the zoo's animals band together and break their code of silence to help him win the heart of his true love. Also with Rosario Dawson, Leslie Bibb, Ken Jeong, Joe Rogan, Donnie Wahlberg and with the voices of Nick Nolte, Adam Sandler, Sylvester Stallone, Cher, Judd Apatow, Jon Favreau and Maya Rudolph. Directed by Frank Coraci. [1:44]

SEX/NUDITY 4 - On two occasions we see a man and a woman kiss. A man and a woman kiss and they wrap their arms around one another. A woman kisses a man on the cheek. A man and a woman kiss on the cheek in greeting. A man leans in close to kiss a woman and the woman pulls away and acts disgusted.
 A man smells a woman's neck (she is wearing a tube-style dress) during a lingering hug. A man and a woman hold hands. A man and a woman dance and we see the woman jump into the man's arms. A woman dancing with a man tries to jump into his arms and then says she cannot since she is wearing a dress. A woman places her leg on a man's hip as they dance. A man tells another man to get keys out of his pocket, we see the man digging around in the man's pockets and the man has a pleased look on his face.
 A woman and a talking gorilla slow dance and the woman puts her head on the gorilla's chest. A talking bear instructs a man to walk with his hips and stomach jutted out, saying to "show off the pudding cup" (possibly implying his stomach) and we see the man thrust his hips as he walks. A man puts a woman's hand on his chest and the woman jokes that the man's heart is beating so hard that it's not good.
 A man tells another man that he is going to "go get some" in reference to trying to pick up a woman. A man tells another man that he and a woman "make out hard." A talking bear jokes with another talking bear that he dated a bear with an extra paw, saying, "she knew how to use it" but does not explain what he means. A man tells another man that a woman that he hugged was "hot." A man tells several talking animals that he split his pants and his underwear is "hanging out." A man tells another man that he is going to "Uncle Bosoms" after work and will be on a couch in the back; he does not explain the location, but it is implied he is going to a strip club. A man tells another man that a woman is "bendy" (with sexual implications) after accidentally knocking her to the ground.
 On multiple occasions we see women wearing tight-fitting dresses, including a woman wearing a tight, low-cut, cleavage-exposing dress. A man bends over, splits his pants and we see the white of his underwear through the tear. We see a portion of a man's bare back and chest as he sits in a bathtub filled with ice. We briefly see a woman's leotard when her skirt lifts while doing acrobatics from a rope attached to a ceiling. We see a woman in a work out video wearing a sports bra and a pair of tight shorts.
 A talking wolf is seen licking its behind and it shouts, "I wasn't cleaning my basement!"

VIOLENCE/GORE 4 - Most of the violence in the film is played for laughs.
 A talking gorilla tells a man that another man would beat animals with a stick with a nail on the end and that when the man hit him with the stick, the gorilla grabbed it causing the man to fall to the ground and the man then said the gorilla attacked him. We see a gorilla with a cut over his eye after a man holding a stick with a nail on the end approaches him and it is implied that the man beats the gorilla with the stick (we do not see the gorilla being injured).
 A man punches another man and throws him against a wall. A man throws an apple near the head of a gorilla and the apple smashes against the wall.
 A lion roars at two women, we see the lion stepping out of its cage and approaching the women and they are rescued by a third woman. A boy throws ice cubes at two bears in an enclosure, the boy slips and falls into the enclosure, the two bears approach the boy and the boy escapes unharmed. A porcupine gouges a man's cheek with its barb, the man winces in pain as he attempts to pull the barb out, a woman says he has a small spot of blood (no blood is visible), and the porcupine then stabs the man in the eyebrow with another barb. Bees buzz around a man's face and it is implied that the man is stung in the eye and on multiple occasions we see a man with a bandage over his eye (presumably due to the bee sting). A man threatens to beat up another man.
 We see an unconscious lioness lying on a gurney being wheeled by a man and a woman, the man shouts that the lioness is not breathing, and a man and a woman attempt to revive the lioness; we see saliva being pulled from the lioness' mouth and flicked onto the man's face, the woman pries the lioness' mouth open, the man pulls a can from the lioness' throat, she begins to breathe and we later see that the lioness unharmed.
 A man is startled and stumbles slightly after he drags his bike under a parked semi truck that begins to move; the man narrowly avoids being hit by the truck. A man slips and falls, and he stands up unharmed. A man almost stumbles off a chair; he braces himself just as he is about to fall. A man leaps onto another man's back and they fall over.
 A talking gorilla runs and shouts, then laughs after a man is frightened and the gorilla tells the man he was just joking. A man acts like his wrist is injured after he and a gorilla "fist bump"; the gorilla acts concerned and the man laughs, saying he was just joking and was unharmed. Two talking bears wrestle and shout in a half-joking manner. A bear falls over.
 Two men on bikes race one another, one of the men grabs a flexible flag from the other man's bike and whips him repeatedly on the back, and the two men crash into one another. A man riding a bike forces another man riding a bike into traffic, and we hear cars honk and people shout as the bikers race in front of cars. A man on a bike kicks another man on the arm.
 A man pantomimes shooting another man with a bow and arrow. A man pantomimes shooting guns at the feet of another man, who jumps into the air and laughs. A man drives erratically on a motorcycle, we see him almost crash into a building and he rides away unharmed. A gorilla drives a van into a car, and the car is smashed on the side but the gorilla is unharmed.
 A woman screams at a man. A series of talking animals shout at a man. A man shouts at numerous talking animals. A talking lion shouts at a talking lioness on multiple occasions. A talking elephant shouts at several other talking animals. A man growls at another man. A woman shouts at several men. A woman tells a man that she had been very frightened when a lion that was out of its cage approached her. A man tells a woman that he might have "broken" an ostrich.
 A man warns another man to be careful around a gorilla because the gorilla "jacked him up." A man tells another man that he needs to "watch his back" because a gorilla might attack him. A man tells another man that he knows a man lied about being injured by a gorilla. Two bears talk and joke that they could have eaten a boy that fell into their enclosure. A man pants loudly and tells a woman that he is having trouble breathing and feels like his "body is melting" (moments later he recovers unharmed). A man tells another man that he had not beaten up anyone since his birthday and threatens to beat up a man that crouches in a submissive position.
 A man tells a gorilla that he is frightened of heights and screams in terror as he almost slips off the gorilla's back as it climbs a tall bridge. A gorilla drops a man from the top of a bridge in front of a car and the man stands up, unharmed. A gorilla drops from the top of a bridge onto the hood of a car, the hood crumples and a man and a woman say they should get the gorilla to the hospital (the gorilla is later seen unharmed). A man jumps onto the back of an ostrich and the ostrich falls over. A man jumps through the air and hits a rock wall; he falls to the ground and then struggles to climb up the rock wall (he is unharmed). A man swings around a room on a rope attached to the ceiling, he slams into a woman, knocking her to the ground and the man then crashes into an ice sculpture; it is later confirmed that the woman had not broken any bones but simply pulled a muscle from being knocked to the ground. A man is knocked on his backside when the branch holding a tire swing he is riding snaps (the man is unharmed). A man screams after being frightened by a talking animal, he slams his head into a pool and falls to the ground; he later wakes up and it is implied that he was unconscious for some time (the man is unharmed upon waking). A man shouts as a gorilla throws him over a fence, and he lands on the ground unharmed.
 A talking lion refers to a man as having saved a lioness' life. A man tells another man that his arm is unusable for an hour after being bitten by a copperhead. A man tells another man and a woman that a city has many "underground fight clubs" but does not explain what they are. A man and a woman joke that they should crash weddings and make messes all the time. A woman jokes that she would rob a bank if a man asked her. A gorilla jokingly tells a man that there is a 50/50 chance of him crushing his backbone if he were to hug the man.
 A giraffe licks a carrot that a man is trying to eat and the man spits chunks of chewed up carrot out of his mouth. A monkey repeatedly licks its armpits and a man acts disgusted as the monkey continues to lick its armpits.
 A talking wolf is seen urinating on a log; we see the stream of urine as the wolf describes urinating to a man that's watching. A talking wolf instructs a man to urinate on a tree, we see the man turn and hear the sounds of urinating from the man until he is interrupted by two women and turns around -- it is implied they see him urinating and one woman says, "I cannot un-see that" and the man explains that he was urinating on the wolf to relieve a venomous sting; the woman tells the man to cover the wolf with urine and we later see the man giving the wolf a bath, implying that he had urinated on the wolf.
 We see multiple outtakes of a man and a woman spraying one another with fake saliva, including the woman reaching her hand into a sedated lion's mouth and pulling out a handful of saliva and a man being hit in the face with saliva.
 It is implied a man is urinating onto a potted plant at a restaurant when he is approached by another man who tells him where a bathroom is located; we see the man adjusting his zipper.
 A man coughs and gags, he tells a woman he is going to vomit after swallowing some fuzz and the woman acts disgusted by the man's coughing (he does not vomit). A talking gorilla tells a woman that a mask smells bad and he suspects the previous wearer had thrown up in it.
 A talking monkey repeatedly tells a man to throw poop at a woman. A talking monkey tells several other talking animals that he had thrown poop at another monkey. A man tells a woman she has a "booger" in her nose, and then loudly announces to surrounding tables that a woman has a "booger" and that she needs to clean her nose.
 A gorilla excitedly punches the roof of a van. A gorilla punches a table in frustration and grabs his head in pain after getting an ice cream headache. A man smashes a guitar against a bar in a joking manner.

PROFANITY 3 - 2 sexual references, 8 mild scatological terms, 1 mild anatomical term, 5 mild obscenities, name-calling (freaky hippo whisperer, idiot, herbivore, honey pit, beanbags, big guy, stupid bears, liars, weak, loser train, Gail Gail the Female, crystal gail, hammer thumbs, puppy breath, freckle chest, little zoo girl, chaotic pile of man, funny looking, Willy Wonka, Grandma Hair, worthless, fat man, thumbs), exclamations (shut up, heck, gosh), 15 religious exclamations. [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - Men and women are seen drinking champagne and cocktails at various parties and at a wedding, a man holds a beer in his hand and women are shown with cocktails in front of them in a restaurant scene. A talking bear says that a bear had been a model for a tobacco ad.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Talking animals, changing yourself, jealously, revenge, stress eating, alpha males, taking advice, being yourself, dishonesty, friendship, depression.

MESSAGE - It is important for people to love you for the person you are, not the person they want you to be.

Special Keywords: S4 - V4 - P3 - MPAAPG

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