Your Highness [2011] [R] - 10.9.9

 
 

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ASSIGNED NUMBERS

Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

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After a brave and handsome prince's (James Franco) new bride (Zooey Deschanel) is kidnapped by an evil wizard (Justin Theroux), he must go on a quest with his lazy, underachieving brother (Danny McBride) in order to rescue her. Also with Natalie Portman, Toby James and Damian Lewis. Directed by David Gordon Green. [1:42]

SEX/NUDITY 10 - A woman discovers a minotaur raping a man (the minotaur is behind the man, thrusting), she shouts and the minotaur turns around and we see its fully erect penis; a man approaches the minotaur and stabs it, it falls to the ground (the erection is still visible) and moments later we see the man with the disembodied genitals of the minotaur on a rope around his neck. A man is wearing the severed genitals of a minotaur around his neck as a necklace, and the genitals hit his mouth when he tries to take off the necklace; he offers the genitals to a woman that turns him down, and he then hands the genitals to another man, who places them on the man's shoulder. We see the severed genitals of a minotaur hanging around a man's neck for approximately 20 minutes in various situations and settings, including dangling next to a woman's face as she is strapped to a bed (she grabs the genitals in a suggestive fashion and the man pulls them out of her hands). A man draws a crude cartoon of a man and a woman having sex: we see a man's massive genitals and the woman's bare breasts.
 Several topless women, their bare breasts visible, surround a man wearing a diaper (his bare chest is also visible). We see several topless women with their bare breasts lightly covered with mud but still visible. Several topless women, a small amount of mud seen on their breasts, watch several men fight; they moan suggestively as a man takes off his shirt (we see his bare chest) and throws it at the women. We see an animated version of two topless women and their bare breasts visible. A man's bare chest and back are visible on multiple occasions as he goes without a shirt. A man is seen taking off his shirt. Throughout the movie we see women wearing cleavage exposing tops and dresses. A woman's cleavage is visible as she lays on a bed on two occasions.
 A man is bitten in the thigh by a venomous monster, he shouts at two men to suck out the venom, one of the men makes a sexual joke and then forces the other man's head near the man's crotch area; we see his head going up and down (appearing as though the man is performing oral sex on the other man), and he is then instructed to spit out the venom (we see him spit out a milky substance).
 A man is seen on top of a woman tied to a bed: he thrusts twice and it is implied they are engaged in sex, and several men and a woman enter the room and the man leaps off the woman (she's wearing a tight, cleavage exposing corset and the man's shirt is long enough to cover his genitals).
 We see a man in bed, he rubs oil on his hands and it is implied that he is about to masturbate (we see his hands move under a sheet); another man enters the room and teases him about masturbating and when a woman enters the room the man implies that he was about to masturbate, telling her that he was about to think about her. A woman wearing a bikini-like outfit (her bare torso is visible) approaches several men, she takes off the bottoms as the men watch (we see her bare buttocks) and one of the men makes a crude remark about sexually relieving himself on her bare breasts. We see a man having his clothing ripped off, revealing his bare chest and genital area, which is completely smooth -- several men stare at his crotch and make remarks about the man not having genitalia and when he turns we see his bare buttocks. A man wears tights and a large codpiece, he stands behind another man and instructs him how to swing a sword; it appears suggestive as we see the man's behind. A man watches as a woman takes off her clothing; we see her wearing a bikini-style top and thong-style underwear, her buttocks and bare torso are visible, the man explains to another man that he is watching a woman bathe, and both men then look at the woman's bare back and buttocks.
 A male squid-man puppet asks a man to kiss him, the man kisses him passionately, he then instructs another man to kiss the creature, and the man gives him a brief kiss on the lips. A man and a woman kiss passionately on multiple occasions. A woman kisses a man on the cheek, and the man sticks out his tongue and attempts to lick the woman's lips. A man licks a woman's face, and the woman acts disgusted. A man makes a crude remark to his brother about having to "touch" a male squid-man creature, implying sexual release; the man touches the creature's crotch area (no nudity is visible), the creature makes suggestive moaning noises and we then see the man wanting to wipe off his hands.
 Throughout the movie there are countless references to rape, including a man telling a woman he is going to have forcible sex with her on over ten occasions, a man telling a woman that she will have his child on multiple occasions, two men discussing how another man is intending to rape a woman, a man tells another man that he is going to "enter" a woman and that she has been "pre-moisted" by three elderly women (he does not explain what he means), and a man asks another man a series of questions concerning another man having forcible sex with the man's wife. A man makes a series of crude gestures that imply that a man is forcing another man to perform oral sex on him; we see a man watching and laughing.
 A man and woman kiss passionately, the woman offers to have sex with the man, she lifts her skirt and we see a metal bikini-style bottom with a lock, the woman explains that it is a chastity belt and that she needs to find a key from another woman in order to have sex. A man, using suggestive language, asks a woman to have sex with him but she ignores his advances. A man asks a woman if she will bathe with him and she declines. In front of a crowd of people, a man accuses another man of having sex with his wife, and the man says it was just "heavy petting" with "brief penetration." On multiple occasions two men discuss sex, including one man telling the other that it is customary for a man to "lay with" multiple women, and a man tells another man that he is jealous of the man's sexual history. A male squid-man creature tells two men that a man will force a woman to have sex with him to produce a dragon and one of the men remarks, "That's gross." Two men, using crude language, describe various sexual positions a man may take with a woman. A man tells another man not to stand near a virgin woman, and the man makes a crude remark about having sex with her. A man and woman have a conversation with sexual innuendo as he holds her arms behind her back, she makes a crude remark that a sword is a man's penis and he says he will "gladly penetrate" her. A woman teases a man about the appearance and use of his genitals (we see no nudity), he then makes a crude remark about masturbating to prepare for having sex with her and he makes a crude remark about the woman's genitals being similar to his hand. A man asks another man if he thinks a man and a woman will have sex, and the man says no. A man tells a woman about a series of crude sexual behaviors, including that a man organizes orgies, sleeps with multiple women, has fungus on his genitalia, and allows men to sexually relieve themselves on him. A male squid-man creature implies that he and a man had a sexual relationship, saying they would kiss, jump on the bed topless, and "other playful secrets." A man tells another man that he believes his brother was molested by a male squid-man creature. A man makes a crude joke about being forced to masturbate in front of a Pegasus. A man jokes to several men that another man's haircut makes him look like male genitalia. Two men make crude gestures with their hands, implying sexual release over the ashes of a man's body.

VIOLENCE/GORE 9 - Three men and a woman attack several men, they punch and stab them, we see blood pouring from wounds, and one of the men appears to have his internal organs pushed through his stomach (blood pours from the wound); a man stabs another man, blood sprays from the wound and we see a massive spray of blood come from a man as his arm is cut off, a man grabs another man's severed arm, punches the man in the crotch with it and the man falls to the ground as blood pours from the wound, while a man tosses another man into a pit and a man punches another man in the temple.
 A five-headed monster spits acid at a man's faces, which begins to melt and the skin bubbles off; the monster bites another man's thigh and the man makes another man suck out the venom (please see the Sex/Nudity category for more details), and a woman wearing a cloak attacks the monster, cutting off one of its heads at a time, until only one head remains. A minotaur chases two men and a woman, the minotaur corners one of the men and rapes him, he is interrupted when another man stabs the minotaur in the back, it drops to the ground and we see blood spraying onto the man's chest; we see the man's bloody sword and the man's chest and neck smeared with blood as he wears the severed genitals of the minotaur around his neck. A man lifts a disembodied head of a Cyclops out of a sack, and we see blood and tissue hanging from the gaping neck wound. Several people stare at a Cyclops's head as a man hands it to another man. A man stares at a disembodied Cyclops's head, with blood and tissue hanging from the neck wound, and impaled on a spike; the man makes a remark that the head is "dripping" and polluting water.
 Three men are shot in the throat with darts and moments later they are seen being led into the pit of a large arena as men and women watch: a man instructs the men that they will fight another man and then a creature, we see a man coming out of a bullpen, another man stabs him in the stomach, blood bursts from the wound and we see the man's limp body fall to the ground; a knife is thrown at a man and another man catches it, a man fights another man, he kicks the man onto a spike, driving it through his chest, and blood is seen on the spike and coming from the wound.
 A man is stabbed by a spike on a spring-arm that triggers, as four men and a woman enter a room: the spring-arm swings around and we see the man stuck to the spike, blood coming from his stomach. A man is speared by a thrown spike, he slumps over and we see the bloody pole sticking out of the man's back. A woman shoots a man with an arrow and she pulls the bloody arrow out of the man, as he lies dead on the ground. A man stabs another man in the chest with a sword, the man's chest bursts into light and the man explodes into embers.
 A man's fingers are cut off one at a time and we see his bloody hand with only one finger remaining. A man stabs an unidentifiable creature in the stomach, a white ooze comes out, and the man reaches into the wound and pulls out a bloody lump; several other men chant as the man offers the bloody lump to another man, and the man takes a bite and acts disgusted (we see a small amount of blood on the man's face and hands).
 Three elderly women shoot lightning bolts at three men and a woman, the lightning knocks them to the ground, they deflect the lightning momentarily and then the woman is pushed back with force; she returns the bolt and it hits the elderly women and slices the head off one of them (no blood is visible). We see a woman tied to a tree stump and screaming while a man hovers above her and tells her that she will bear his child (implying rape); an arrow pierces the man's neck, blood spurts from the entry and exit wound and the man falls to the ground, three elderly women appear and fire lightning bolts from their hands aimed at five men, the men deflect the bolts and one of them cuts off one woman's head, which falls to the ground with a thump (a small amount of blood seen).
 Several men shout that they will kill three men, they surround them, the three men punch their way out of a tent, jump into a carriage and drive away, while two men chase them on horseback and one of the men tries to stab two of the men in the carriage as the other man leaps onto the front of the carriage and fights with the driver (a sword narrowly avoids one of the men's faces); the attacker is thrown off and is dragged behind the carriage (his face is bloody and hitting the ground), and one man is scalped and kicked out of the carriage (we see his bloody skull, and the bloody scalp is thrown back and forth, and then out the window). Several men attempt to board a carriage carrying two men and being driven by a third, a knife is thrown into the carriage and narrowly misses a man's face, a man climbs to the top of the carriage and fights the driver, the driver is flipped off the carriage and grabs onto a man that is being dragged behind the carriage (his face is bloody and cut), and two more men drop from a tree onto the carriage and it flips and crashes.
 A wizard shoots lightning bolts from his hands at another man, he deflects them as the wizard summons three blind elderly women that also blast lightning bolts; they knock one man to the ground and send several other people scattered, the man stabs the wizard in the chest with a sword (which goes through his chest and the bloody wound and blood covered sword are seen), the wizard heals the injury immediately, and the man lunges at the wizard, who freezes him in the air. A wizard grabs a woman and disappears as a lightning bolt holding a man in mid-air vanishes and he falls to the ground with a thud.
 In the background, we see a skeleton with bits of rotting tissue stuck to it. A man sees another man slumped over with a small amount of blood coming from his mouth and he is presumably dead. A man walks past a skeleton lanced to a wall with an arrow through the eye socket and a small amount of rotten tissue is stuck to the bones. A man sees a vision of another man chained at the hands and legs, hanging from a ceiling and being whipped; we later see the man hanging from the ceiling with small bloody cuts on his bare back from being whipped and a cut on his temple and mouth.
 A woman slams a man's face into a table, she punches him and throws him to the ground, she grabs him and throws him through the air, and he crashes onto a table, unharmed; the man grabs a man's stool (knocking the man to the ground), throws it at the woman, it smashes against a wall and he punches the woman (they are both unharmed). A man is surrounded by a group of men with their swords drawn, and one of the men knocks the man to the ground and then stomps on his hand. Two men sneak up behind another man, the man throws the two men to the ground, and another man grabs the man and holds his hands behind his back. A man shouts at another man and says that another man will probably die on a journey; the man gets close to the other man, his fist drawn and about to punch him, but drops his hand and walks away. A man shoves another man out of the way.
 A man playfully hits another man on the head. A man is seen, a noose around his neck and another man is seen with his head in stocks and covered in tar and feathers as he sneezes and says, "I'm allergic"; a third man releases the door under the man with the noose as a crowd watches, he struggles for a moment and stands up, unharmed, pulls off the noose and he and the man in the stocks run away. A man smacks two rocks together in his hands, it causes a burst of light that temporarily blinds two men and the man runs away; another man grabs the clothing of the running man, it rips off and the two men grab him and carry him away. A man stumbles down a flight of stairs; he is unharmed.
 A man's fingers are cut off, and only his middle finger remains, and he shows people a rude hand gesture. We see a woman bound at her feet and hands and gagged and a man explains that he is going to rape her. A man says that he had "given up hand" for another man and (we see a metal hand attached to his arm) and he punches a table which splinters. The face of a man is projected in a fire and it tells another man that he needs to toss two men from a cliff. A man shouts at a projected image of a man's face and throws a fish stick at the image.
 A woman tells a man that she had discovered that her six brothers were killed, their heads on spikes and eyes and teeth missing; she explains that she is going to kill a man for killing her brothers. A woman tells a man that she is going to burn a band of men alive and that she will enjoy the sound of their death cries. A woman tells a man that she had been held captive in a tower by a man. A man explains to a group of people that he had slaughtered a Cyclops and freed a woman. A man threatens to drown a person if another man destroys a mechanized bird. A man swings a sword through the air and says he will kill anyone in his way. A man says that another man would often hold up swords and mimic killing people. A man threatens to kill another man in front of several people. A woman tells a man that she wants to "dance" on a man's corpse. A man tells a woman that his brother's wife had been kidnapped and that his mother is dead. A man tells another man to bathe because he smells like sheep genitals.
 A man licks a blade of grass and remarks that he tastes the urine of another man and continues to lick the grass. We see a man standing behind a tree and a stream of urine is seen coming from the other side of the tree (no nudity is visible). A man with blood on his hands and face tells a woman that he is not going to bathe again because he likes the feeling of fresh blood. A woman spits out a piece of chewed up food. We see three men eating, and chewed-up food is seen in their mouth as they laugh.
 We see cartoons of the following: A man falling face-first into mud, a man being shot by a bolt of lightning, a man falling on top of a man lying on the group, a man shot out of a catapult and flying through the air and crashing through the wall of a building, and a man and punching another man and then kicking him in the crotch.

PROFANITY 9 - About 41 F-words and its derivatives, 1 obscene hand gesture, about 53 sexual references, 24 scatological terms, 25 anatomical terms (4 mild), 11 mild obscenities, name-calling (little vermin, sorry sack of [expletive deleted], devil, band of worms, loathsome wench, men are called maidens and ladies, witless chambermaids, bully, mad, deceitful, foul, sourpuss, stupid, idiot), 2 religious profanities, 8 religious exclamations. [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - On multiple occasions we see a man smoking presumably marijuana (called "herb," "dankest dank," "sticky icky" and "magical herb") and acting intoxicated: We see him smoking from hookahs with another man, from a pipe shared by another man and a male creature and from a pipe by himself and we see an animated version of a man and another man smoking what is implied to be marijuana, we see a room filled with marijuana plants, a man makes a comment about the plant's potential potency, and a man rips the wings and head off a fairy and grinds its body into a dust which he then snorts. Several men appear to be drunk while sitting in a bar and drinking from steins, and a man offers a group of men liquor to get drunk (they turn him down).

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Medieval times, going on quests, sibling rivalry, dragons, magicians, rape, Cyclops, minotaurs, unicorns, revenge, jealousy, immaturity, growing up, silly fantasy/adventure movies, molestation, unwanted sexual advances, sexual innuendo, death of a loved one.

MESSAGE - Sibling rivalries must be put aside when a task is at hand. Silly spoof comedies are popular.

Special Keywords: S10 - V9 - P9 - MPAAR

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