Become a Premium Member | Only $2 a month

► You're making sure we survive
► Exclusive previews
► No more ads


We're the Millers [2013] [R] - 7.6.10



Although our site is very popular, the current economic climate has reduced our revenues just when we need extra security to prevent attacks from hackers who don't like what we do. If you think what we do is worthwhile, please donate or become a member.


Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

 [more »]

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
1 to 10


» Official Site
» IMDb Listing

A long-time marijuana dealer (Jason Sudeikis) recruits a phony family that includes a stripper (Jennifer Aniston) and two local teens (Emma Roberts and Will Poulter) to help cover his movements as he transports a huge shipment from Mexico to the United States. But their "family vacation" turns out to be full of obstacles as they confront nosy travelers and a Mexican drug lord. Also with Ed Helms and Nick Offerman. Directed by Rawson Marshall Thurber. [1:50]

SEX/NUDITY 7 - A woman works as an exotic dancer in a nightclub, dancing and writhing around poles in close-ups while wearing a bra that reveals cleavage, bikini panties, stockings and high heels with either a black or a white wig; she performs a lap dance for a neighbor and sits down forcefully in his lap, because she is angry, and then writhes and shimmies and he ignores her and asks her to pretend to be his wife; she refuses and snaps the elastic band of her panties as she stalks off; her boss tells her that she must begin to have sex with customers for money and she quits.
 An exotic dancer wears panties that have 6" of pleated skirt attached and a bra that reveals cleavage and abdomen; she pulls the front of her panties down slightly to show a tattoo of the words "Boner Garage" (her stage name) and an arrow pointing to her crotch while she dances and writhes around a pole, with a close-up of dollar bills stuck into a garter on her thigh; later, she says she will be happy to have sex with customers for money. An exotic dancer in a warehouse pulls off her slacks and sleeveless blouse to reveal a lace bra and lace panties; she dances up a metal staircase, pulls a shower lever and douses herself with water, dances to an open elevator platform and writhes on it as it lowers; she dances toward a man who is holding her captive, shakes her bosom in his face and pulls a lever to release burning steam into his face so that she and her family can escape.
 A teen boy bitten by a tarantula shouts that he is having a bad reaction until adults persuade him to drop his pants and we see one huge red testicle that looks like a balloon, alongside some folds of skin or other unrecognizable parts; a shot from the back shows him nude from the waist down, revealing buttocks, thighs and legs. A male streaker covering his genitals with his hands runs into a glass wall and falls down (we see no genitals). A neon sign shows the outline of a large woman at a pole, moving one leg up and down. A shirtless, bare-chested man sitting in a hot tub is in the company of three women wearing bikini tops that reveal bare shoulders, arms and abdomens as well as cleavage. Two shirtless men box in a dirt ring in a Mexican compound and we see full bare chests, backs, shoulders and arms.
 A man and a woman enter the tent of a married couple, who awaken and ask to engage in wife-swapping sex; the wife touches the bosom of the other, clothed woman and giggles and the husband moves his forefinger in and out of the other man's ear experimentally as he says that his wife's vibrator is named Joe Morgan (no kissing or intercourse occurs).
 A man introduces his wife as "smoldering" to another family and the teen boy in the other family develops an instant crush on the first man's teen daughter (he stares wide-eyed and agape); he admits later to his fake mom and sister that he has never kissed a girl and they kiss him several times to teach him how to kiss; the daughter of the other family walks in on the kissing scene, gasps and runs away. Three heterosexual couples kiss passionately. A teen boy attempts to kiss a teen girl, but becomes embarrassed and just hugs her. A man and a woman kiss and a teen girl interrupts them; the couple smiles.
 A teen boy in an aisle seat on a plane looks into the aisle as a woman stows her luggage overhead and her bosom presses into his face; he becomes embarrassed. During a campfire drawing game, a teen boy draws a black skateboard and a woman calls out "big black [anatomical term deleted]," embarrassing the boy.
 A man asks a teen boy to perform oral sex on a motorcycle cop in exchange for safe passage back to the USA; the man and the teen argue about whether the teen is homophobic until the cop gets tired of waiting, asks for 100 pesos instead and receives the bribe as he blows a kiss to the teen boy. A married woman hugs another woman and says, "You'll always be my special lover" as she slaps the woman's clothed buttocks. A woman asks her husband to use handcuffs on her (for sex). A man asks a male friend, "Remember in college when I tried to kiss you?" and the friend shudders and laughs. A man tells a woman to pull the dollar bills out of her crotch and she replies that her crotch only takes twenties. A man asks another man for sex advice and the other man replies to treat his wife as if she were a stripper. A woman embarrasses her daughter by describing sex with the girl's father: "I'm not as tight as I once was. He falls right out." A teen girl says that she has not had her period in two months, but the sex she had was only anal and a woman later says that anal sex does not cause pregnancy. A woman says that she has a shallow vagina that won't take tampons (during outtakes in the end credits, she says a tampon looked like a storm trooper's dick sticking out of her); later, she asks her daughter if she needs a Tampax, because the daughter is being rude, which the mom feels indicates menstruation. A man posing as the father of a teen girl says to her sarcastically about a male carnival worker, "Oh, I like him; he's great. Don't even use protection" (sex implied). A man says that he usually only begs if he is in a sexual situation.

VIOLENCE/GORE 6 - A teen boy sees men attacking a teen girl in an alley, he runs over to stop the attack, gets punched into a wall, an adult male intervenes, and is threatened with a knife and slams a backpack into the attacker's stomach; the attacking men chase the man across fire escapes and the he jumps to a dumpster and lands on the hard lid; the attackers rob his apartment and take cash and drugs (please see the Substance Use category for more details) causing the man to say, "My boss will kill me." A man punches a person wearing a fright mask that pops up from a trashcan. A teen boy accidentally hits a teen girl (posing as his sister) in the face in a seat next to him on a plane.
 A drug lord's fortress features dozens of men with rifles; one of the men is very tall, has tattoos on both arms and shoulders and one eye is covered with scar tissue; this man puts the barrel of a gun into a man's mouth and calls him "Gringo with a haircut like a donkey" (he does not shoot); later the threatened man hits the gunman in the head with a large monkey wrench (no effect) and the gunman punches the other man in the face (no effect).
 A woman sprays steam into a thug's face (please see the Sex/Nudity category for more details) before she and her family run out of a building as armed men shoot at them; the family escapes in their RV, crushing a drug lord's expensive custom automobile.
 Two large thugs drive erratically up to a man on a sidewalk and abduct him with a black hood over his head; the thugs take him to a drug boss who says, "You know I've killed people, right?" (we hear that a drug courier was gunned down and killed) and we see an Orca in a giant aquarium behind the boss swallow the front portion of a smaller whale. A DEA agent beats up a thug and a drug lord; the thug lies handcuffed in the dirt while the drug lord is roughed up but not bleeding; the drug lord gets a gun and tells the DEA agent and two families that he wants to kill all of them for misdirecting a shipment of marijuana (please see the Substance Use category for more details); one man asks the drug lord to kill only him, because the others are not involved in stealing the pot and fireworks distract the drug lord long enough for the man to kick the gun from his hand and the DEA agent arrests the drug lord. A DEA agent beats up a thug and a drug lord and hauls them off to jail; the thug lies handcuffed in the dirt and the drug lord is roughed up but not bleeding. Police use batons to beat the driver of a car in which they found a marijuana cigarette in a long shot (no blood is seen). A male carnie wears a tank top that reveals misspelled tattoos on his chest and designs on his shoulders and arms; he says that he operates a hell-ride for children and adults posing as the parents of a teen girl question him and argue together about whether the girl should be allowed to date him; later, the girl cannot get away from the carnie and her "mom" and "brother" argue with the man; the man calls them names (a mild obscenity and "eyebrows") and as the brother rears back to punch the man the mother punches the man in the nose (we see his nose bleed down his chin and into his mouth) and he leaves, whining.
 A man and his boss argue about payment for delivering a shipment of marijuana (please see the Substance Use category for more details) until armed DEA agents and SWAT officers descend from cables through a skylight the boss; they point rifles at him, arrest him and take him away.
 A tarantula crawls out of a fruit basket and up the leg of a teen boy's shorts biting him in the crotch; the boy curses (please see the Sex/Nudity category for more details) before passing out and is taken to the hospital, where we hear that he is placed on IVs to treat a reaction to venom. A man rushes out of a hospital with a teen boy in a wheelchair, accidentally dumping him on the ground outside twice (he is not hurt); the boy wears a cotton patch and bandage on his arm for a few scenes.
 A woman wraps a kilo of pot in a baby blanket to hide it and when another woman insists on holding the "baby," the first woman throws it into traffic, where several semi-trucks run over it; the second woman screams and a teen girl says it is only a sack of earth for a health class on raising a new baby.
 A man abandons a woman and two teenagers in anger at a carnival that is hundreds of miles from home (he comes back for them). A teen boy, a teen girl, their fake mom and their fake dad argue and curse on a plane and continue lengthy arguments on a long road trip in Mexico. A woman tells a man that his apartment smells like cheese and feet.
 A baby spits up on a man's shoulder and we see the light-colored spittle/vomit. A teen girl says that if she is lectured, she will puke, but she does not vomit. A man on a plane says he is going to take a dump.

PROFANITY 10 - About 97 F-words and its derivatives, 8 obscene hand gestures, 6 sexual references, 25 scatological terms, 30 anatomical terms, 24 mild obscenities, name-calling (dummy, white boy, old man, idiot, loser, hobo, dork, cheap, gringo, donkey, Scarface, nerd, eyebrows, stupid, crazy, genius, gutter punk, crumb-bums), stereotypical references to men, women, parents, teenagers, nosy neighbors, corrupt businessmen, government agents, drug lords, carnival workers, Blacks, whites, Mexicans, Jews, Christians, exclamations (heck, gee, Oklahoma!, shoot, gosh, for cripe's sake), 7 religious profanities (GD), 20 religious exclamations (e.g. Oh My God, Oh God, Thank God, Jeez, Jesus). [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - A drug dealer keeps many plastic boxes of marijuana and other drugs in his apartment, a man sells pot to people from all walks of life (e.g. students, housewives, businessmen), a man gives a small box of pot to a friend as a gift, a man's apartment is robbed and his drugs are stolen, a man is asked by his drug boss to bring a shipment of pot back from Mexico and the man agrees, a man waters plants by his fence and we see that there are several marijuana plants, a border guard finds a marijuana cigarette in a car and drug dogs begin barking and we see cops beat the driver of the car with batons in a long shot, a border guard pulls over an RV to search for contraband, several Mexicans run from underneath a stopped RV to head for the border and cops chase them, a woman asks sarcastically if this place is a meth lab after arriving in Mexico and looking at rows of BBQ stands, and a man who received marijuana calls his wife and says that "We're gonna get high and [F-word deleted] tonight." A man and three women in a hot tub drink martinis, and a teen boy tells a neighbor that his mom went out for a drink a week ago and has not returned. A man smokes a small cigar, and we see a cigarette butt on the ground in the desert.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Drug trafficking, Mexican drug cartels, crime and justice, wealth, power, work, strip clubs and exotic dancing, homelessness, friendship, families, cooperation, starting life over.

MESSAGE - Everyone needs a family.

Special Keywords: S7 - V6 - P10 - MPAAR

Our Ratings Explained

Tell Friends About Our Site

Become a Member

A CAVEAT: We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and some of our early standards were not as stringent as they are now. We therefore need to revisit many older reviews, especially those written prior to 1998 or so; please keep this in mind if you're consulting a review from that period. While we plan to revisit and correct older reviews our resources are limited and it is a slow, time-consuming process.

INAPPROPRIATE ADS? We have little control over ads since we belong to ad agencies that serve ads automatically; a standing order should prevent provocative ads, but inappropriate ads do sneak in.
What you can do



Become a member: You can subscribe for as little as a couple of dollars a month and gain access to our premium site, which contains no ads whatsoever. Think about it: You'll be helping support our site and guarantee that we will continue to publish, and you will be able to browse without any commercial interruptions.


Tell all your friends: Please recommend to your friends and acquaintances; you'll be helping them by letting them know how useful our site is, while helping us by increasing our readership. Since we do not advertise, the best and most reliable way to spread the word is by word-of-mouth.


Alert local & national media: Let major media know why you trust our ratings. Call or e-mail a local newspaper, radio station or TV channel and encourage them to do a story about our site. Since we do not have a PR firm working for us, you can be our media ambassadors.

Copyright © 1992- Critics. All rights reserved. "Kids-In-Mind™" and "Movie Ratings That Actually Work™" are Service Marks of Critics. For legal queries please see our Terms of Use; for comments or questions see our contact page.