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The Watch [2012] [R] - 8.8.10



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Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
1 to 10


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Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade star as neighbors in a small Ohio town, who set up a neighborhood watch, become involved in trying to solve a murder and discover that their community is full of unfriendly extraterrestrials. Also with Rosemarie DeWitt and Will Forte. Directed by Akiva Schaffer. [1:40]

SEX/NUDITY 8 - Two men investigate screaming emanating from a basement window and the homeowner comes out and invites them in to what turns out to be a loud orgy: we see over 50 people in the basement almost entirely nude (we see many bare breasts, bare chests and bare legs of both genders), a nude woman faces the camera, sitting astride a man and bouncing up and down while having sex (we do not see genitals), a nude man has sex from behind with a woman while both face the camera (genitals are not visible), and several female couples kiss in close-up; three men masturbate with their groin areas hidden by a waist-high shelving unit and they then masturbate one another below screen, a man says that he'd like an Asian housewife to perform oral sex on him and a woman approaches him, asks him if he would like that and kneels below screen (presumably to do so) and we see a dozen glowing lighted vibrators of different colors on a coffee table.
 A teen girl in a bedroom at a party with a teen boy tells him that she does not want to have sex when he reaches under her skirt while they kiss; he becomes angry and her father enters the room and takes the girl away. A man and a woman kiss briefly several times; another man tries to kiss the woman, but the first man pulls him away and tells him to stop. A teen girl and a teen boy kiss in a YouTube video and her father insists that it be removed from Facebook.
 As four men enter a house, they find a woman wearing a negligee that reveals cleavage, bare thighs and legs, sitting on a dining room table among lit candles; she spreads her legs below screen and screams when she sees more than one man, complains that one of them is weird and saw her genitals and her husband makes a crude sexual remark causing her to cry.
 There are many sexual jokes, with around 20 of them being about semen looking like alien blood, several about how well Viagra works but not as well as the "Mexican" medicine, men shout to "suck [anatomical term deleted]" several times, and three scenes feature men buying large sized condoms as another man yells that their penises are not that big; in one scene, a man in a van urinates into a beer can hidden behind the driver's seat and says it is as good as sex, and a man says that an extraterrestrial race can be stopped only by being shot in their weak penises. One man tells three other men that they should [sexual reference deleted] an electronic ball that has holes in it, in order to see if they can power it up. A man enters a home where an orgy is under way and shows a strip of super-size condoms for admission.
 A woman wants to have a baby, but her husband is nervous about it; throughout the film, he avoids her requests for sex until finally, he admits to being diagnosed sterile, the woman carries an ovulation stick with her and her husband grimaces at the stick several times and we later see the couple with a little girl.
 A man tells a friend that he is sterile and has no sperm and the other man says to tell his wife and get a [anatomical term deleted] transplant. A man tells another man to dress as a woman to interrogate an old man; the second man agrees and says he'll have anal sex if he needs to do so.

VIOLENCE/GORE 8 - A security guard at a store is murdered by a running animal that looks like a wolf with a black tentacle for the back end: the animal chases the man, who has pulled out a handgun, and from the outside of the store, we see his bloody body smash against a glass door; the body is found by the store manager who looks at the body off screen, gasps and cries, and we hear that someone took the man's entire skin off.
 We see disemboweled and bloody men with a look of horror on their faces thrown dead into the street from bushes and a store's doorway. A policeman dies when an alien stabs him from back to front with his sharp claw and sends the man's severed heart flying; another policeman stuffs the heart back into the bloody chest cavity, but the man is dead.
 Four men with handguns and rifles shoot several aliens, needing over 20 shots each to kill a single alien: one scene shows a man shooting the penises off aliens and we see green explosions in the groin area and the aliens fall dead. Several aliens are injured and bleed green goo that human men say looks and smells like semen; one alien is smashed against the front of a van and we see only two tentacles and some green goo. Four men kill an alien using a heavy garden gnome to strike it on the head, the alien revives and one of the men kills the alien again using a pool cue and stabbing it through the body (we see some green slime).
 A man discovers that a boy is an alien creature and rips off his penis while fighting, in an explosion of green slime. A cut on the palm of a man's hand is shown with green slime instead of blood and he admits to being an alien.
 A teen boy at a football game where players are tackling each other hard to the ground, laughs and makes rude noises when an announcement is made that a neighborhood watch is being formed to find a murderer, a man in the audience grabs the boy by the throat and threatens him and the teen calls the man and his friends to the field at night and eggs them; the men tackle the teen, take him to the police station and yell at him. A man and a teen boy fight; the boy wins, bloodying the nose of the man.
 Four men and a woman with handguns and rifles chase aliens around a store, firing continually and after killing several aliens and disabling an alien machine, they arm an electronic orb, run through the store chased by hundreds of aliens, slide under a closing door, and they throw the humming orb into the store causing a severed alien head to be thrown across the screen, followed by a box of super-size condoms; the store explodes with smoke, flames and electrical bolts.
 A teen boy sees a telephone pole burst into sparks and an alien races across the screen, smashes the teen off screen and we hear later that he died. A police officer receives a stomach wound and we see some blood, but he recovers.
 In several fight sequences, aliens pick men up and throw them across rooms, and they trash homes and stores, but no human is seriously hurt. Four men find an electronic bowling-ball like device and activate it by putting their fingers into it the holes; the device charges up and blasts a cow to death, destroys a tractor, barn and fences, and creates several fires of thick smoke, blue electric charges and flames.
 We see hundreds of extraterrestrials that are black skeletal beings, about 6 feet tall with long slimy fangs, sharp teeth and slimy skin.
 An elderly man steps out of his house, curses profusely and fires a shotgun but does not hit anything. At a teen party, a man pulls out a knife and says that he will kill them all, if they do not cooperate with neighborhood watch. A man twirls a balisong knife several times and wears a pendant that is a handgun. A man leads four friends into his parents' home, where he pulls handguns and rifles out from under his bed, distributes them and yells at his mom to leave them alone (he apologizes later).
 A man forms a neighborhood watch group after a murder but the local police captain twice accuses him of being the murderer. A man says that he wants to butt heads and to become a police officer. An alien says that they need more human skins to disguise themselves. Several arguments occur between a husband and his wife, two male friends, a father and his daughter, and a policeman with several individuals. A boy asks his date, "Your dad really tore off the penis of your last boyfriend?" and she replies yes.

PROFANITY 10 - About 81 F-words and its derivatives, 12 sexual references, 41 scatological terms, 40 anatomical terms, 25 mild obscenities, name-calling (crazy, old man, knuckleheads, Hardy Boys, sweet lips, joke, weird, strippers, control freak, babysitters, paranoid, whores), stereotypical references to Koreans, Chinese, Asian Indians, British, Hispanics, men, women, teenagers, police officers, extraterrestrials, 17 religious profanities, 11 religious exclamations. [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - A man celebrates by swallowing prescription pills and drinking a bottle of Tequila, four men drink beer from bottles in the clubroom in one of their houses, a teen party involves under-age drinking of beer and liquor, two scenes at a house party feature men and women drinking cocktails, four men receive traffic tickets for drinking beer in a car, four men drink beer while one of them is driving and one of the passengers says he has weed in his pocket as well, and two women drink wine in a home. Four men put cigars into their mouths and the mouth of a dead alien, but no one smokes.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Secrets, vigilantism, neighbors, responsibilities, space aliens, emergency preparedness, neighborhood watch, relationships, love, honesty.

MESSAGE - Neighbors need to work together.

Special Keywords: S8 - V8 - P10 - MPAAR

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