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ASSIGNED NUMBERS |
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Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context. |
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October 2 |
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Dark
Shadows [2012] [PG-13] - 4.6.4
A witch (Eva Green) is angry that a rich man (Johnny Depp) spurned her, so in
retaliation she puts a spell on him in 1772, burying him alive as a vampire.
Then he's accidentally dug up in 1972, and finds out that his descendants on the
family estate are so dysfunctional that the matriarch (Michelle Pfeiffer) pays a
live-in psychiatrist (Helena Bonham Carter). The vampire aims to set things
straight. Also with Christopher Lee, Chloe Grace Moretz, Gulliver McGrath, Jonny
Lee Miller and Jackie Earle Haley. Directed by Tim Burton. [1:53]
People
Like Us [2012] [PG-13] - 5.4.5
Based on a true story about a harried salesman (Chris Pine) that struggles with
his own life and relationship with a woman (Olivia Wilde) as he reluctantly
flies back home to LA for his estranged father's funeral. There, he finds that
Dad's will requires him to deliver $150,000 to his alcoholic sister (Elizabeth
Banks). He finds this odd, since he never knew he had a sister, much less one
that has an 11-year-old son (Michael Hall D'Addario) and attends Alcoholics
Anonymous meetings. Also with Michelle Pfeiffer, Mark Duplass and Jon Favreau.
Directed by Alex Kurtzman. [1:55] |
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October 9 |
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Prometheus [2012] [R] - 3.8.5
Prequel to the "Alien" franchise: After archeologists find 35,000-year-old cave
drawings that depict an alien being and planets, a science vessel is launched
into space and travels for two years before reaching what is believed to be the
site of the alien civilization that was responsible for the origin of humanity
on Earth. With Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba,
Logan Marshall-Green and Sean Harris. Directed by Ridley Scott. [2:04]
The Raven
[2012] [R] - 2.8.5
Edgar Allen Poe (John Cusack) helps a police detective (Luke Evans) track down a
serial killer that is using Poe's stories to stage killings; plus, he has
kidnapped Poe's fiancée (Alice Eve) as his next victim. Also with Brendan
Gleeson, Sam Hazeldine and Oliver Jackson-Cohen. Directed by James McTeigue.
[1:50]
Rock of
Ages [2012] [PG-13] - 8.3.4
Based on a rock musical set in 1987, this romance stars a small town girl (Juianne
Hough) and her big-city boyfriend (Diego Boneta). They meet in Hollywood, where
they have gone to become rock stars, but find themselves diverted by the
realities of life. Their story and those of four aging music industry icons are
told through hit songs from Def Leppard, Foreigner, Joan Jett, Journey, Bon Jovi,
Pat Benatar, Twisted Sister and many more eighties bands. Also with Russell
Brand, Paul Giamatti, Catherine Zeta Jones, Malin Akerman, Mary J. Blige, Alec
Baldwin, Tom Cruise, Bryan Cranston, Will Forte and Constantine Maroulis.
Directed by Adam Shankman. [2:03] |
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October 16 |
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Chernobyl Diaries [2012] [R] - 2.7.10
Six thrill seekers hire an Extreme Tour guide (Dimitri Diatchenko) to take them
through the rubble left by the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster in Ukraine. The
reactor released over 40 times the radiation as the Hiroshima bomb and is off
limits, but the guide takes them into an abandoned workers' village where they
discover something sinister. Also with Ingrid Bolso Berdal, Olivia Dudley, Devin
Kelley, Jesse McCartney, Nathan Phillips, and Jonathan Sadowski. Directed by
Brad Parker. [1:30]
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted [2012] [PG] - 2.3.1
In this animated third sequel, the Penguins, the Chimps and King Julien (voiced
by Sacha Baron Cohen) win a fortune in Monte Carlo while the Central Park Zoo
animals (voiced by Ben Stiller, David Schwimmer, Chris Rock and Jada Pinkett
Smith) are stuck in Africa. Deciding to swim to Monte Carlo to find the
Penguins, they run afoul of a Police Captain (voiced by Frances McDormand) who
wants to mount their heads on her wall. Also with the voices of Tom McGrath,
Chris Miller, Christopher Knights, John DiMaggio, Conrad Vernon, Andy Richter,
Bryan Cranston, Jessica Chastain, Martin Short, Cedric the Entertainer and Paz
Vega. Directed by Eric Darnell, Tom McGrath and Conrad Vernon. [1:25]
Moonrise Kingdom [2012] [PG-13] - 5.4.3
Wes Anderson's newest movie takes place over three days in the summer of 1975 on
a remote island when two young lovers (Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward) flee and
attempt to start a new life together. Also with Bruce Willis, Edward Norton,
Bill Murray, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Jason Schwartzman and Bob Balaban.
Directed by Wes Anderson. [1:34]
That's My
Boy [2012] [R] - 9.5.10
At age 14 a boy (Adam Sandler) fathered a son (Andy Samberg) and raised him
haphazardly as a single parent until the boy left home on his 18th birthday.
Mom, the boy's schoolteacher, went to prison. Now, after an estrangement of
years, the father shows up at his son's wedding in search of a loan, but finds a
nest of secrets. Also with Leighton Meester, Susan Sarandon, James Caan, Will
Forte, Milo Ventimiglia, Rex Ryan and Vanilla Ice. Directed by Sean Anders.
[1:54] |
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October 23 |
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Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter [2012] [R] - 5.8.5
Based on the novel by Seth Grahame-Smith: Young Abe Lincoln witnesses a fatal
attack on his mother (Robin McLeavy) by a vampire (Marton Csokas) and as he
grows into adulthood he vows to kill all vampires. With the help of one renegade
vampire (Dominic Cooper), now President Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) frees the
United States from the undead. Also with Anthony Mackie, Jimmi Simpson, Mary
Elizabeth Winstead, Erin Wasson and Rufus Sewell. Directed by Timur Bekmambetov.
[1:45]
Madea's Witness Protection [2012] [PG-13] - 4.4.4
A prosecutor (Tyler Perry) asks his aunt (also Tyler Perry) to house a family of
five white people for two months in a makeshift witness protection program. The
family includes a bumbling patsy (Eugene Levy), his confused mom (Doris
Roberts), his young wife (Denise Richards), and their two teenagers. The aunt
hides the family from the Mafia, but has to set right other problems. Also with
Danielle Campbell, Devon Leos, Romeo Miller, Marla Gibbs and John Amos. Directed
by Tyler Perry. [1:54]
Magic Mike
[2012] [R] - 8.4.10
A stripper emeritus (Matthew McConaughey) operates his own club. His headlining
stripper (Channing Tatum) brings in a new dancer (Alex Pettyfer) and teaches him
the ropes of stripping and partying while trying to figure out a business life
that will help him escape his current vocation. Along the way he falls for the
new dancer's sister (Cody Horn). Also with Matt Bomer, Olivia Munn and Joe
Manganiello. Directed by Steven Soderbergh. [1:50]
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World [2012] [R] - 4.6.6
As the radio news broadcasts that a US space shuttle sent into space to protect
Earth from an asteroid impact has failed, a man's (Steve Carell) wife abandons
him. He decides to take a road trip to find his high school sweetheart hoping
for a meaningful encounter, accompanied by his neighbor (Keira Knightley). Also
with Melinda Dillon, Connie Britton, Adam Brody, Rob Corddry, Martin Sheen,
William Peterson and Gillian Jacobs. Directed by Lorene Scafaria. [1:34]
Take
this Waltz [2012] [R] - 8.2.6
When a happy newlywed (Michelle Williams) falls for an artist (Luke Kirby)
living across the street, we see the unraveling of her marriage. Also with Seth
Rogen, Sarah Silverman and Jennifer Podemski. Directed by Sarah Polley. [1:46] |
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October 30 |
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Ruby
Sparks [2012] [R] - 5.3.7
A lonely novelist (Paul Dano) suffers from writer's block after his early
success. Therapy does no good, so he dreams of the perfect woman, writes her
into a short story, and she then appears as a real person (Zoe Kazan), as if by
magic. But the whole thing may be too good to be true. Also with Antonio
Banderas, Annette Bening, Steve Coogan and Elliott Gould. Directed by Jonathan
Dayton & Valerie Faris. [1:44]
Safety Not Guaranteed [2012] [R] - 5.4.5
An offbeat classified ad draws the attention of three magazine employees (Aubrey
Plaza, Jake Johnson and Karan Soni) who set out to meet the advertiser. They
find a supermarket clerk (Mark Duplass) who thinks he's invented time travel.
The four embark on a bittersweet adventure to find lost loves and new lives.
Also with Jenica Bergere, Kristen Bell, Jeff Garlin and Mary Lynn Rajskub.
Directed by Colin Trevorrow. [1:25] |
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