Unlike the MPAA we do not assign
one
inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE
and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest,
depending on quantity and context.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest [2006] [PG-13] - 3.7.2
Sequel to the 2003 film: This time Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp)
discovers he owes a blood debt to the legendary Davey Jones (Bill Nighy), the
Captain of the ghostly Flying Dutchman. Threatened with eternal damnation yet
again, Jack wrecks the wedding plans of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann (Orlando
Bloom and Keira Knightley), who then become his reluctant recruits. Also with
Stellan Skarsgard, Geoffrey Rush and Naomie Harris. Directed by Gore Verbinski.
[2:30]
Miami Vice
[2006] [R] - 7.8.6
Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx take over as Sonny Crockett and Ricardo Tubbs,
the main characters from the hit 1980s television series. Working as undercover
police officers in the world of South Florida drug trafficking, they try to
balance their real lives against the illicit temptations and glamour of their
mission. Also with Gong Li, Naomie Harris and Ciaràn Hinds. Directed by Michael
Mann. [2:15]
Beerfest [2006]
[R] - 9.6.8
Two American brothers are given the task of taking their grandfather's ashes
to Germany and sprinkling them in his homeland, and they are surprised to
uncover family secrets that involve a secret underground beer competition.
Receiving a humiliating reception from their German cousins, they return
stateside, determined to train and return to Germany in order to win "
Beerfest." With Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske, Steve Lemme, Kevin Heffernan and
Jay Chandrasekhar. Directed by Chandrasekhar. [1:40]
How to
Eat Fried Worms [2006] [PG] - 1.3.2
Based on the popular Thomas Rockwell book: An 11-year-old boy dreads his
first day at a new school, and as he suspects, the local bullies pick on him all
day. To prove himself and earn respect from his new classmates, he makes a bet
that he can eat 10 worms without throwing up. But he has a sensitive stomach,
and so he is sure that he will lose the bet especially when he sees how the
bullies are "preparing" them. With Luke Benward, Adam Hicks, Hallie Kate
Eisenberg, Austin Rogers, Ty Panitz and Kimberly Williams. Directed by Bob
Dolman. [1:38]
December 12
The Devil
Wears Prada [2006] [PG-13] - 5.3.3
Set in the world of New York fashion, Anne Hathaway stars as a young college
graduate, who's looking for her dream job in journalism. When she unexpectedly
lands the job of assistant to the steely editor (Meryl Streep) of Runway
magazine, the bible of the fashion industry, she has to struggle with her own
identity and determine what she really wants out of her professional life. Also
with Emily Blunt, Tracie Thoms and Adrian Grenier. Directed by David Frankel.
[1:46]
World
Trade Center [2006] [PG-13] - 2.7.5
Oliver Stone directs this 9/11-inspired film, that follows the stories of two
Port Authority police officers, Will Jimeno and John McLoughlin, who survived
the collapse of the World Trade Center towers on that September day. With
Nicolas Cage, Michael Pena, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Maria Bello and Stephen Dorff.
[2:05]
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby [2006] [PG-13] - 4.4.5
Ricky Bobby (Will Ferrell) is a NASCAR superstar, winning one race after
another on the circuit. That is, until a flamboyant French Formula 1 driver
joins his team and Ricky is beaten and crashes horribly. After recovering he
becomes afraid to drive and must wrestle his demons to get back behind the
wheel. Also with Sacha Baron Cohen, John C. Reilly, Michael Clarke Duncan and
Amy Adams. Directed by Adam McKay. [1:45]
Barnyard: The Original Party Animals [2006] [PG] - 2.5.1
In this animated comedy, when the humans turn their backs, the barnyard
animals take on human characteristics, and are able to speak, walk on two legs,
drive cars, party and plan as a community. Their leader is Ben, a male cow, who
has to contend with his son Otis, who would rather have a good time than be
responsible. But when Ben is killed by coyotes, Otis is left in charge. With the
voices of Kevin James, Courteney Cox Arquette, Danny Glover, Sam Elliott and
Wanda Sykes. Directed by Steve Oedekerk. [1:30]
December 19
My
Super Ex-Girlfriend [2006] [PG-13] - 7.6.4
A man (Luke Wilson) down on his luck with love meets a woman (Uma Thurman) on
the subway and after he retrieves her purse from a would-be snatcher invites her
to dinner. They begin dating and although she is beautiful and a superhero to
boot she is also overbearing and neurotic. When he decides to end it she decides
to avenge herself by using her super powers to make his life miserable. Also
with Anna Faris, Eddie Izzard and Wanda Sykes. Directed by Ivan Reitman. [1:50]
Little
Miss Sunshine [2006] [R] - 5.4.7
Greg Kinnear stars as a man who believes that his 9-step program can make
anyone a "winner" and plans to take his young daughter to the Little Miss
Sunshine pageant. He's joined by several other family members, such as the
girl's uncle (Steve Carell) who has just tried to commit suicide after his male
lover left him for another man, and the girl's grandfather (Alan Arkin) who was
kicked out of a nursing home for snorting heroin. Also with Toni Collette,
Abigail Breslin, Bryan Cranston and Paul Dano. Directed by Valerie Faris &
Jonathan Dayton. [1:41]
Lady in
the Water [2006] [PG-13] - 2.7.1
An unassuming and quiet man (Paul Giamatti), who works as an apartment
building superintendent, rescues an unusual young woman (Bryce Dallas Howard)
and discovers that she's actually a character from a bedtime story. Moreover, it
seems the apartment building residents are also characters in the same story and
they have to help the young woman return to her own world for everyone's sake.
Also with Freddy Rodriguez, Jeffrey Wright and Bob Balaban. Directed by M. Night
Shyamalan. [1:50]
Jet Li's
Fearless [2006] [PG-13] - 1.7.1
Jet Li stars as a the son of a great martial arts fighter, who's determined
to continue his father's legacy by defeating all martial arts masters in
competition. After years of training he ends up killing an opponent during a
match. The dead man's family seeks revenge by murdering his mother and daughter.
Grieving, he leaves his village and wanders the countryside in a daze until he
is found and nursed back to health by a community of rice farmers. Also with
Betty Sun, Dong Yong, Shido Nakamura and Collin Chou. Directed by Ronnie Yu.
[1:43]
A Scanner
Darkly [2006] [R] - 7.6.8
Keanu Reeves stars in Richard Linklater's rotoscoping animated take on Philip
K. Dick's story about a future world where the majority of the world's
population is addicted to a drug that slowly destroys minds and splits
personalities. Also with Mitch Baker, Robert Downey Jr., Winona Ryder and Woody
Harrelson. [1:50]
Wicker Man
[2006] [PG-13] - 3.7.5
A police officer (Nicolas Cage) suffering from the memory of being unable to
save a woman and a little girl from a fiery wreck, is drawn into a missing
person's case on a remote, privately owned island when his ex-fiancée contacts
him, asking him to find her missing daughter. When he arrives at the island he
encounters mystery and deception at every turn. Also with Leelee Sobieski, Ellen
Burstyn, Kate Beahan and Diane Delano. Directed by Neil LaBute. [1:37]
All the
King's Men [2006] [PG-13] - 4.5.4
Biopic based on Robert Penn Warren's eponymous novel, which was the
fictionalized story of the rise and fall of Louisiana governor Huey Long (and
which was the basis for an Oscar-winning 1949 film). Sean Penn stars as "Boss"
Willie Stark, an ostensibly idealistic Louisiana politician who's not above
dirty politics and is eventually corrupted. Also with Jude Law, Kate Winslet,
Mark Ruffalo and Anthony Hopkins. Directed by Steven Zaillian. [2:00]
Invincible
[2006] [PG] - 3.3.1
Mark Wahlberg stars as a 30-year-old who's frustrated and disappointed with
the way his life has turned out. Working as a substitute teacher and part-time
bartender, he takes a risk and tries out for a professional football team when
the new coach announces open tryouts. Since he's never even played college
football his chances of qualifying seem less than slim. However, his resolve
gives hope to many of his friends and neighbors, who are out of work or fearing
impending layoffs in their small Pennsylvania hometown. Also with Greg Kinnear,
Elizabeth Banks, Kirk Acevedo and Lola Glaudini. Directed by Ericson Core.
[1:44]
Step Up [2006]
[PG-13] - 3.5.3
A young man (Channing Tatum) is sentenced to community service time in the
art school that he broke into and vandalized, and while sweeping floors and
replacing light bulbs he's inspired to help one of the students (Jenna Dewan)
with a dance routine. In the process he begins to believe that he may be worthy
of something better than his go-nowhere life. Also with Rachel Griffiths, Mario
and Drew Sidora. Directed by Anne Fletcher. [1:38]
December 26
The Black
Dahlia [2006] [R] - 8.9.6
Josh Hartnett and Scarlett Johansson star in this speculative thriller, based
on the real-life murder of a Hollywood starlet that shocked Hollywood in 1947.
The brutal murder remains unsolved. Also with Hilary Swank, Aaron Eckhart and
Mia Kirshner. Directed by Brian De Palma. [2:01]
Jackass:
Number Two [2006] [R] - 8.8.10
Second installment of MTV's eponymous reality show, and the concept remains
the same: a series of reckless and often very dangerous, disgusting and
disturbing stunts, pranks and gags; some involve dangerous animals, like snakes
and sharks, and others are about consuming biological waste. With Johnny
Knoxville, Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, Stephen Glover and Jason Acuna. Directed by
Jeff Tremaine. [1:35]
The Descent
[2006] [R] - 3.10.9
Spelunking horror film about a group of girlfriends who plan a caving
expedition, hoping that the diversion will help one of them recover from the
death of her husband and daughter. But it turns out that the cave they have
chosen to explore is unmapped, and it is inhabited by a hungry species of humans
who have evolved for life underground. With Shauna MacDonald, Natalie Mendoza,
Alex Reid, Saskia Mulder and Nora-Jane Noone. [1:39]
The Last Kiss
[2006] [R] - 8.3.9
Zach Braff stars as a man in his early 30s, whose fear of commitment and
responsibility leads him to have an affair with a younger woman when he finds
out that his live-in girlfriend of three years is pregnant. Meanwhile, his
girlfriend's parents are having their own problems with infidelity and
self-absorption. Also with Jacinda Barrett, Rachel Bilson, Tom Wilkinson and
Blythe Danner. Directed by Tony Goldwyn. [1:55]