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Teacher's Pet [2004] [PG]



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Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
1 to 10


» - ★★½
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Animated feature based on ABC's eponymous TV series: A boy's (Shaun Fleming) dog (Nathan Lane) desperately wants to become a boy, and so he dresses up every morning and attends school as one. It appears his wish can actually come true when he learns of a mad scientist called Dr. Krank (Kelsey Grammer) who specializes in transforming animals to humans. The results are not what he expected: he is transformed into a middle-aged man and he proceeds to flirt with the mother of the boy who owned him as a dog. Also with the voices of Debra Jo Rupp, Megan Mullally, Estelle Harris, Jay Thomas, Jerry Stiller and David Ogden Stiers. Directed by Tim Björklund. [1:13]

SEX/NUDITY 4 - An odd relationship develops between the transformed dog (who's now a man) and his ex-master's mother (who was also his teacher when he was pretending to be a boy and attended school): the man talks about sharing a bed with her, and that he always loved her; she reacts lovingly, she touches his hand tenderly and flirts with him, they share a romantic dinner, and both make references to getting married. A man and a woman kiss on TV, and a man and a woman nearly kiss on a TV show. We see a bare-chested man with bandages wrapped around his waist. A woman wears a tight-fitting low-cut dress that reveals cleavage and accentuates her figure. People wear bathing suits on a beach (men are bare-chested, women in bikinis expose some cleavage). We see a woman on TV in a bikini. We see a man's buttocks cleavage when he tries to squeeze into shorts that are too small. A bird says "I wanna be a rooster in a henhouse," a man says "If these pants ride up any more I'll be a soprano."

VIOLENCE/GORE 3 - A man pulls his head off and holds it in front of a boy. A man yells and kicks a mutated alligator/boy creature , and a man swings an axe at a dog. A man and a boy yell at each other. A man pokes himself in the leg with a hypodermic needle and he deflates. A cat's skin is blown back while riding on top of a speeding train (we see his skull). A man is zapped by a machine and he is transformed into a mouse and is chased by a cat. A boy is strapped to a table and a strange ray machine is pointed toward him. A dog is zapped with a ray and is transformed, and a dog is zapped and a pile of sand is left on the floor where he was. A cat and a bird are zapped and we see them briefly as bare-chested, odd looking men. Two characters approach a dark and eerie cabin in a dark swamp. A mosquito hits a man in the head. A bird and a cat are slammed into a wall when a door is opened. The alligator/boy creature runs into a wooden post breaking it in half. A bird flattens under the weight of a cat. A dog clings to a moving RV, he's blown by a truck speeding by in the other direction, he slips off, we see claw marks on the spare tire and a boy thinks the dog has been killed. Two people are washed off a beach by a large wave that crashes on shore. A cat claws at and clings to a man's neck. A man in a straightjacket hits his head against a wall. A fairy hits a dog on the head three times with a wand (in a recurring dream). We hear that a man can transform animals into humans, we see pictures of some of them with malformed features and two participate in the story: one is an alligator (one of his eyes dangles from the eye socket) and the other is a mosquito with a bob haircut. A man on a Jerry Springer-like TV show yells during the introduction. People and animals yell at each other and call each other names. Bugs pick up and carry a cat, they are squished under his weight and we see a puddle of goo. A boy pretending to be a frog eats a fly by flicking his tongue. A man is extremely jittery from drinking coffee.

PROFANITY 0 - Some name calling. [profanity glossary]

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Wishes, dreams, family, creepy relationships, disappointment, companionship, DNA, fate, friendship, persistence, nature, insanity, loneliness.

MESSAGE - A friend needs a friend and a boy needs a dog.

Special Keywords: S4 - V3 - P0 - MPAAPG

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