Become a Premium Member | Only $2 a month

► You're making sure we survive
► Exclusive previews
► No more ads


The Spy Next Door [2009] [PG] - 2.5.3



Although our site is very popular, the current economic climate has reduced our revenues just when we need extra security to prevent attacks from hackers who don't like what we do. If you think what we do is worthwhile, please donate or become a member.


Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

 [more »]

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
1 to 10


» Official Site
» IMDb Listing

When a former CIA spy (Jackie Chan) volunteers to baby sit his girlfriend's kids for the weekend, he finds himself out of his element and surrounded by three kids that do not like him. After one of the kids mistakenly downloads a top-secret document, the agent's former nemesis comes after the family. Also with Madeline Carroll, George Lopez, Billy Ray Cyrus and Amber Valletta. Directed by Brian Levant. [1:32]

SEX/NUDITY 2 - A man holds a woman's hands in his, they lean in close and kiss. A man and a woman stand side-by-side, his hand rests on her shoulder, they turn to face one another and kiss quickly. A man and a woman share a brief kiss on the lips. A woman kisses a man.
 A man and a woman hold hands as a boy watches and grimaces. A man touches a woman's face in a suggestive fashion. A woman playfully pats a man on the cheek.
 A man pushes a young man who had been attempting to flirt with a 13-year-old girl and loudly grumbles, "Two words, thir-teen"; he then shoves the young man away. A boy blushes and gives a man thumbs up after a girl tells the boy that he has a "cool look." Attempting to flirt with a girl, a boy says, "If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" and she says "No way!" and walks away. A man leans in to kiss a woman, she pulls away, points to a car, where three children are watching them and says, "Not now, we have an audience."
 A girl wears a short skirt, a woman tells her to put on something more appropriate, and the girl is then seen wearing very tight jeans and a mid-drift exposing top. A woman wears a tight-fitting body suit. A woman wears a tight-fitting, low-cut, cleavage exposing shirt.
 A young girl chases a small pig shouting that the pig is eating her underwear.

VIOLENCE/GORE 5 - A young man grabs a large knife and turns to stab a man, who pushes three children to safety and engages in combat: they wrestle causing destruction, the man pins the young man to the ground, knocks the knife out of his hand, pushes him through a window (the young man has a bloodied mouth and nose) and steps on his back; another man pulls a gun, and the first man pulls out a small turtle that bites the gunman's finger forcing him to drop the gun, the man spins, kicks him in the stomach and knocks him to the ground.
 A large truck crashes through a chained fence and into a warehouse, followed by two cars, and men come out of the cars and tie up a boy and a man: a man holding a gun threatens them, a young man drags a tied-up girl into the room, the restrained man frees himself, knocks the gunman unconscious, and fights three other men with punches and kicks and knocks all three to the ground.
 Two men attempt to pin another man behind a refrigerator, he throws a pot of spaghetti on them, grabs a stack of plates and throws them at one man's face, and a woman unknowingly slams a door on one man's face, sending him crashing to the ground.
 A man is held with a knife to his face, he kicks his attacker in the face and fights with him, a girl drops a television on another of the attacker's heads (he crashes to the ground with the television stuck on his head), another man holding a gun threatens them and a woman strikes him in the head with a large bottle sending him crashing to the ground.
 A man holding a pipe fights another man, whose belt transforms into a ninja sword: they fight until the man wielding the pipe attempts to run away and he is pinned until many armed SWAT officers arrive.
 A woman forcefully slams a door into another woman's face, causing her lipstick to smear on her face and appear to be blood; she then spits out what can be presumed to be two broken teeth.
 A man slips off his belt, it transforms into a ninja sword, he jams it into the blades of a fan, stopping it, scales a vent along the roof of a building, jumps down, and attacks two men, kicking and punching them: one drops to the ground and the other man tries to use a large wrench to strike the man but crashes to the ground below.
 A man punches another man in the face, causing the man to fall to the ground. A man spin kicks another man in the side of the head, causing the man to fall to the ground. A man karate chops another man's arm and the injured man falls to the ground. In front of three children, a woman slaps a man in the face, and accuses him placing her children in danger.
 Two boys grab and pull the waistband of another boy's underpants up to his shoulders, drag him while he cries, and tip him head-first into a trash can; several children watch and laugh.
 A girl pushes a small button on a pen that detonates a small missile, which strikes a man, forcing him to fly backward, crash through a door and fall to the ground. A girl shoots a super-charged blowtorch at a man, knocking him back and he falls to the ground and passes out. A man attempts to corner a boy against a wall, the boy whips his belt off, it turns into a large ninja sword, and he uses it to knock the man off balance (he crashes to the ground unconscious).
 A man fights two large men with a ladder, they engage in rapid hand-to-hand combat, and one man picks up a pool-cleaning pole and attempts to strike another man but the man kicks it out of his hand. A woman tries to kidnap a girl, the girl bites her, and a man knocks her and shoves a pool-cleaning pole into her stomach to hold her down.
 We see four guns held to the head of a man, who then pushes them away. A man holds a gun aimed at the face of another man. We see a man holding a gun to the face of another man.
 Two men pour a large barrel of oil over the floor and onto the feet of a woman, and one man pours a small vial onto the oil, which begins to bubble and disintegrate, quickly eating away the woman's shoes; she jump up and shouts at the two men for destroying her shoes.
 While attempting to pull a hot muffin tin from an oven, a man uses his bare hands, shouts and drops the pan, smoke fills the room and we see that a pan with bacon has caught on fire; he pours a cup of coffee on the pan, causing flames to shoot up and engulf the pan, and there's more smoke causing three children watching the man to scream.
 A man drives a car recklessly through traffic with a boy and a girl as passengers, speeding through city streets causing two cars to swerve and spin. A man narrowly avoids being run over by a speeding car as he leaps onto a ship.
 A boy uses a lighter to ignite a sparking, smoking stink bomb (it fills the air with smoke), which he throws into a room; a girl comes out, they shout, wrestle and exchange punches and a man sends them to their rooms. A girl with scorch marks on her face and hands holds a hairdryer, which appears to have melted; a boy had apparently booby-trapped it and he walks behind her chuckling. Three men are seen destroying a house, ripping up pillows, pulling things from shelves, etc.
 A man holds two outfits, another man shoots a gun and we see the two outfits riddled with bullet holes. During a phone call, a man angrily throws a cell phone to the ground and fires a gun at it.
 A woman and a girl have an intense argument. A woman tearfully shouts at three children and storms away. After a man opens the bedroom door of a girl, she shouts, throws a pillow and slams the door in the man's face. A man struggles to calm a super-hyper young girl (we see that she had been fed sugar and we see her running excitedly around a bedroom).
 A man pushes a young man who had been attempting to flirt with a 13-year-old girl and shoves him away. A woman rushes toward a taxicab, a man attempts to climb into the cab, and the woman grabs the collar of his jacket, pulls him out and shoves him to the ground. A man tells three children that "someone" wants him dead and quickly pushes the children past two unconscious men.
 As two boys angrily approach a boy, the boy remarks that a man is his bodyguard and that the two boys should "watch it." A man tells a woman that a person must be killed, and she seems delighted. A man instructs a woman to kill a person and she smiles joyfully. A man tells two men to blow up a building. A girl tells a woman over the phone that she does not feel safe with a man because terrorists are trying to kill him. A woman shouts at a man when he says that the woman needs to come get her children since he cannot keep them safe. Three men discuss how they enjoy the adrenaline rush of being spies, one of the men says that he enjoys being shot at and "learning how to pee in a bottle" while on a stakeout. After a man takes a young girl into the men's restroom at a restaurant, the young girl looks around at the messy bathroom and remarks "boys are pigs." A man tells another man that a person could "eat nails and poop corkscrews."
 After realizing that a young girl is missing a man panics and runs through a store and a shopping mall, slides down a large sheet hanging from the ceiling, and surfs down the handrails of an escalator.
 A man whips off his belt, turning it into a ninja sword and hands it to a boy who begins to playfully jab the sword in the air. A young girl attempts to run away from a man, he detonates a ballpoint pen that turns into a lasso, which wraps around the waist of the girl pulling her into the arms of the man and they both begin to laugh. A man playfully punches a boy on the shoulder. A boy playfully punches a man on the shoulder. During outtakes, a woman playfully punches a man in the chest with a large gallon size jug (the man acts injured) and a woman falls to the ground and accidentally pulls a man with her.
 A young girl dramatically pulls a piece of chewed up bacon out of her mouth. A boy rushes into a bathroom, telling a girl to get out because it is his turn, and we see him face the toilet as the girl walks out of the room (we do not see or hear anything). A girl pulls a hose causing a man who is pushing two trashcans to trip and we see him covered with food and trash (the girl watches and laughs).

PROFANITY 3 - 3 scatological terms, 2 mild obscenities, name-calling (hillbilly, dumb hillbilly, robot, boring, geek, drone, future villains, geekboy, nutjob, liar), 1 religious exclamation. [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - During an outtake, a man holds up a gun with a burning cigarette in the tip of it. A young girl becomes hyperactive after being fed a lot of sugar.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Secret agents, double crossing, spies, oil demands, divorce, loss of a parent, step parenting, bullies, lying, love, family, the Russian mafia.

MESSAGE - Sometimes you have to do whatever it takes to protect those that you love.

Special Keywords: S2 - V5 - P3 - MPAAPG

Our Ratings Explained

Tell Friends About Our Site

Become a Member

A CAVEAT: We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and some of our early standards were not as stringent as they are now. We therefore need to revisit many older reviews, especially those written prior to 1998 or so; please keep this in mind if you're consulting a review from that period. While we plan to revisit and correct older reviews our resources are limited and it is a slow, time-consuming process.

INAPPROPRIATE ADS? We have little control over ads since we belong to ad agencies that serve ads automatically; a standing order should prevent provocative ads, but inappropriate ads do sneak in.
What you can do



Become a member: You can subscribe for as little as a couple of dollars a month and gain access to our premium site, which contains no ads whatsoever. Think about it: You'll be helping support our site and guarantee that we will continue to publish, and you will be able to browse without any commercial interruptions.


Tell all your friends: Please recommend to your friends and acquaintances; you'll be helping them by letting them know how useful our site is, while helping us by increasing our readership. Since we do not advertise, the best and most reliable way to spread the word is by word-of-mouth.


Alert local & national media: Let major media know why you trust our ratings. Call or e-mail a local newspaper, radio station or TV channel and encourage them to do a story about our site. Since we do not have a PR firm working for us, you can be our media ambassadors.

Copyright © 1992- Critics. All rights reserved. "Kids-In-Mind™" and "Movie Ratings That Actually Work™" are Service Marks of Critics. For legal queries please see our Terms of Use; for comments or questions see our contact page.