Scary Movie 3 [2003]

 
 

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ASSIGNED NUMBERS

Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

MPAA Rating: PG-13

The horror movie spoof series continues with its third installment, which introduces a science fiction and fantasy theme, looking at the funny side of such films as the "Lord of the Rings," "The Ring," "Signs" and "The Matrix." With Pamela Anderson, Anna Faris, Charlie Sheen, Anthony Anderson and Peter Boyle. Directed by David Zucker. [1:30]

SEX/NUDITY 6 - Men and women dance and caress each other; one couple kisses and we see their tongues. It is implied that a priest plans to have sex with a young boy while babysitting (he brings a bottle of wine, lights candles and calls to the boy in a seductive tone). A man and a woman kiss, and a woman kisses a man. We see dogs having sex. Two aliens slide a knife under a door and see a woman's panty covered crotch (they make noises and touch their nipples). A man and a woman hug and the man misunderstands when the woman says, "it's so hard." An alien puts its finger in a man's mouth, we learn that the aliens urinate from their fingers and the man coughs and spits. A boy says to a man: "You're getting lucky tonight"; and a boy says to a woman: "He doesn't know you're a guy." A man asks if he can have a few minutes with a woman's "bottom half." A girl asks her father to hold her in bed, under the covers and without pajamas (turns out to be a man in disguise). A man asks a younger woman to "...make an old man happy." A man talks about not having been with anyone in years, except himself and his chair (he caresses the arm of the chair suggestively). Men talk about pornographic videos. A man makes a remark about a sheep and implies a sex act. A man talks about all the women he hasn't slept with. A man talks to another man and looks at him in a way that suggests he is sexually attracted to him (they hug). A man begins to describe sex while holding a donut and a hot dog. Two women talk about wanting "good" sex and one thrusts her hips rhythmically. A woman opens her blouse, we zoom in on her bra covered breasts and several men gather around and ogle her. A woman takes her top off (we see her in her bra) and a woman takes her bra off and we see her bare back. We see a woman's bare shoulders while she showers (these are scenes from a surveillance video that a man has made and watches). Two women have a pillow fight and their skirts flip to reveal panties and bare thighs. Two women's tops are unbuttoned to reveal ample cleavage (one woman's breasts appear to be getting larger in each subsequent scene). A man sits on a toilet (we are looking up) and we see his bare buttocks. A man sits on a toilet with his pants around his ankles. A woman wears a bikini top that reveals cleavage. A woman wears low-cut pants and a short top that reveals cleavage, her bare abdomen and back to the hip.

VIOLENCE/GORE 6 - A decomposing girl crawls out of a TV (her hair hangs over her face, her skin is tinged grey and her eyes and mouth are blackened). A decomposing girl and a woman fight with punches, kicks, and head-butts and we hear that the woman was killed. A decomposing girl is knocked into a well. A dead woman sits in a chair after apparently having been scared to death; her face is frozen in a scream, her tongue is blackened, her skin is tinged grey, and when she is jostled her head rolls off and we see her bloody neck. Two men perform CPR on a dead woman in a coffin; they punch her chest, perform mouth-to-mouth, one climbs on top of her, picks her up to a sitting position, slaps her on the face repeatedly, another man climbs behind him and pulls on him (the motions are rhythmic and the woman's face ends up in the first man's crotch); eventually a man holds two electrical wires to her chest and she explodes sending her limbs around the room (people catch them). A dead woman in a coffin has a terror stricken look frozen on her face. We hear that a woman has been pinned against a tree by a truck and that her body has been cut in half (we see her leaning over the hood of a car). A group of people shoot each other (we see people lying motionless on the ground). A car backs into a boy standing in the street and he is sent sailing through the air, a boy is hit by a car and swept off screen. Two aliens are hit by a car and lie on the ground motionless. A man is shot many times (we see holes blow open in his shirt and he falls to the floor). A dead woman, who previously had been blown to pieces, is taped together with duct tape. Two women fight: one spits on the other, one punches the other in the face, and one grabs a clump of hair out of the other's head. Two men fight: they punch and kick each other, they grab each other's crotches, one ends up dangling out of a window and falls to the ground below leaving the other man holding his severed nose. A man punches two men and a woman in the face, and a man head-butts a girl. A man hits a boy repeatedly with a baseball bat, a boy is hit in the head with a shovel, and a boy is hit in the head with the head of a sledge hammer. Men are grabbed around the necks by aliens and kicked in the crotches repeatedly. A man puts up the hood of his sweatshirt and he looks like a Ku Klux Klansman, he is dragged off a stage by an angry mob and thrown out a window. A man is forcibly dragged out of a room, and a man is thrown out a window. A boy is hit in the head with a basketball, a boy is hit in the face by a man's knee, the boy is lifted up and into a ceiling fan, he spins around with it and is shot out a window. A man throws a can of paint out of a car window, hits a bicyclist who falls off his bike and onto the street. A woman's nose bleeds and she gags and chokes, the same woman convulses and foams at the mouth and urinates on the floor (we see a puddle); the same woman's hand catches fire (they are all gags played on a friend). A woman tells a boy about how his mother bled to death during childbirth, that while cutting the umbilical cord she cut half of his sex organ off and that it was sewn back on upside down. A boy draws pictures of dead bodies buried in the ground, one with blood spraying from its neck and a severed head on the ground at its feet. A man accidentally fires a gun in the air. Two women have a pillow fight: hard strikes with the pillows knock them down, one punches the other, and one gives the other a wedgie. A man is hit in the crotch by a beam, and a beam falls on a girl's head. A man is hit in the face and crotch many times by cornstalks as he runs through a field, and a man's head is stuck in closing bus doors. A girl wields and revs a chainsaw. There are many pratfalls: a man hits his head on a lamp twice, a woman hits her head on a microphone boom, a man hits his head on a shelf, two men bonk bellies and one is knocked to the floor, and a woman is hit on the head by a vase and falls on the floor. A man vomits on a man sitting on a toilet in a bathroom stall (we see the man with goo all over his shirt). We see two men projectile vomiting. An alien and a man urinate from their fingers. A man blows his nose in a woman's hand (we see slime on her fingers). We see horses defecating large quantities.

PROFANITY 5 - 2 F-words, 9 sexual references, 22 scatological terms, 18 anatomical terms, 25 mild obscenities, 17 religious exclamations. [profanity glossary]

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Horror movies, spoofs, alien invasions, adolescent fantasies, sexual abuse by priests, pedophilia, bestiality, homosexuality, incest, racism, urban legends.

MESSAGE - Satire and irony currently draw humor out of scatological, sexual and violent themes.

(Note: Dogs are shown smoking a water pipe, people smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol.)

Special Keywords: S6 - V6 - P5 - MPAAPG-13

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A CAVEAT: We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and some of our early standards were not as stringent as they are now. We therefore need to revisit many older reviews, especially those written prior to 1998 or so; please keep this in mind if you're consulting a review from that period. While we plan to revisit and correct older reviews our resources are limited and it is a slow, time-consuming process.




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