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How to Be a Latin Lover [2017] [PG-13] - 5.3.4

 
 

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ASSIGNED NUMBERS

Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

 [more »]


Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

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After 25 years of marriage a man (Eugenio Derbez) finds himself both single and without an income. He convinces his estranged sister (Salma Hayek) to take him in while he looks for a new wealthy wife. Also with Rob Lowe, Kristen Bell, Raphael Alejandro, Michael Cera, Rob Corddry, Mckenna Grace, Rob Huebel, Rob Riggle, Raquel Welch and Linda Lavin. Directed by Ken Marino. Several lines of dialogue are spoken in Spanish with English subtitles. [1:55]

SEX/NUDITY 5 - A man and woman kiss passionately, caress each other's clothed buttocks and the man picks up the woman and puts her on a counter where they continue to kiss. A man removes his clothes down to Jockey-type underwear/swim trunks and dives into a swimming pool; he climbs out of the pool and the fabric of his trunks clings to his buttocks as he approaches a woman and makes a suggestive remark. A woman uses an oxygen mask while lying on a sofa and a younger man wearing a robe enters the room as her husband realizes that she is having an affair (sex is implied). A man opens his shirt, removes his belt (we see his bare chest, abdomen and part of his underwear) and dances suggestively in front of a woman and she tells him to stop; he assumed that she wanted to have a physical relationship with him.
 A young boy flirts with a young girl. A man flirts with a woman.
 A wife tells her husband that she wants to play cops and robbers and that she should be frisked (sex is implied). A man pretends to be a pizza delivery person and his wife tells him that she cannot pay him; sex is implied. A woman talks about having a passionate affair with her Spanish teacher. Several women watch a man walk near a swimming pool and make suggestive sounds and remarks; one woman grabs his clothed buttock as he passes her. A man talks about finding a new wife that won't ask him "To poke her there." A man makes a suggestive gesture with his hands and makes suggestive noises when asking a woman if she and a man are having a relationship. A young boy describes a stripper as someone who dances naked on a pole. A young boy tells a man, "I'm great in bed. I don't pee or anything." A man teaches a young boy how to walk to seem confident and "sexy." A man "trains" a boy in the art of seduction. A boy talks about being nervous around girls. A man says that his wife made him, "Dress up like her father." A man talks about having anal bleaching. A man tells a young boy that women don't know what they want and that they want men to be dominate them.
 A man and a woman (brother and sister) dance with salsa moves.
 A man is shown in a spa having facials and other treatments (we see him bare-chested); he lies on his back with his bare legs in the air as someone approaches him with a device (presumably anal bleaching). A man lies on a massage table (we see his bare back, chest and abdomen). A man wearing bikini swim trunks dives into a swimming pool and swims across toward a woman (please see the Violence/Gore category for more details). A man has his car wrapped with an advertisement for an exotic dance club (we see pictures of women wearing bikinis on the car). A man dressed as a police officer yells at two other men, one man pulls on his uniform and it tears off leaving the man wearing boxer briefs (we see his bare back, chest, abdomen and legs) as the two men punch and kick him off-screen.
 A man is shown with his shirt unbuttoned to reveal his chest and upper abdomen. Women wear swimsuits that reveal cleavage while at a swimming pool. A man reveals his upper chest while sitting in a bathtub. A man wearing boxer shorts gets out of bed with a woman (we see his bare chest and abdomen). A woman wears low-cut and tight-fitting tops and dresses that reveal cleavage and accentuate her figure throughout the movie. A woman wearing a bikini swims and we see cleavage, bare abdomen, back and buttocks.

VIOLENCE/GORE 3 - A man falls asleep while driving a truck and he drives through a house and his children watch as he and the truck blow up (we do not see the aftermath but hear that the man died).
 Two men argue over a woman and each pulls on one of her arms, eventually pulling them off (they are prosthetic). Two men fight with punches and kicks and wrestling on the ground at a child's birthday party. A man opens an apartment door and a man outside punches him in the face; he falls back over a sofa and we see him with a bloody nose. Two men chase another man trying to collect money from him; they shove him, yell at him and grab his genitals. A man punches another man in the crotch and leaves him bent over and moaning. Two men on a street compete with flipping and spinning signs until one man throws his sign and it lands on the windshield of a police car; the car loses control and hits a man in a wheelchair, the man gets up and says he is OK but is struck by another vehicle (he says he's OK again). A man in a wheelchair is struck by a car, and he gets up and says he's OK. Two men threaten another man with bodily harm by several text messages.
 A man dressed as a police officer yells at two men and threatens them, one man pulls on his uniform and it tears off leaving the man wearing boxer briefs (please see the Sex/Nudity category for more details) as the two men punch and kick him off-screen.
 A man slaps a man in the face several times and blames his aggression on testosterone pills. A man startles another man and hits him in the face with a garbage can lid. A woman slaps a man in the head several times. A woman slaps a man in the face with tortillas a few times. A man throws candy in a boy's face a few times. A woman accidentally knocks a man back off a sofa and onto the floor (we do not see any injuries).
 A helicopter with a man and a boy inside dives briefly and then stabilizes. A man rides a small motorcycle and crashes into a gate, and garbage cans fall off the bike both times (we see no injuries). A woman reveals 2 prosthetic arms while talking about the accidents that left her without arms (frost bite and a train accident). A woman is shown with Band-Aids on her arms and face from cat scratches and one scene shows her with a bloody ear and wearing an eye patch. We see blood on a washcloth after a man wipes blood from his nose. A woman's prosthetic arm falls off and onto the ground.
 A cat jumps on a man's back and he grimaces. A man bumps his head on a laundry basket. A man sleeps on a floor and wakes up moaning several times. A man is shown pinned under an inflated weather balloon.
 A woman carrying a baseball bat enters a room screaming; her young son and her adult brother were arguing. A young boy yells at a man and storms away. A man and a woman argue several times. A man says that a young girl told him to salt a slug so that she could remember how to laugh. A woman talks about her mother dying after an avocado tree fell on her. We hear that a young boy's father died. We hear that a young girl's grandfather died.
 A man dies his hair with shoe polish and when he dives into a swimming pool he leaves a trail of brown in the water; guests are alarmed imagining what the brown streak could be. A man flatulates a few times. A man spits into a sink and we see saliva. A man is shown sitting on a toilet in a playhouse and we hear that it is not a real toilet. A man talks about having anal bleaching. A woman tells a man, "Don't sprinkle the seat."

PROFANITY 4 - 1 obscene hand gesture, 8 sexual references, 10 scatological terms, 6 anatomical terms, 4 mild obscenities, name-calling (boneheads, suckers, idiot, stupid, sexy, silly, jerk, gringo, free loader, man candy, ugly), exclamations (jeez, shut-up, oh my goodness), 9 religious exclamations (e.g. Oh My God, God, Thank God, My God). [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - A woman uses an oxygen mask while lying on a sofa, and a man talks about taking testosterone pills. A man and woman drink shots of Tequila and appear drunk (dancing and laughing and stumbling), and a man drinks a bottle of beer. A man smokes a cigarette while driving a truck, a man smokes a cigar, and a man lights a woman's cigarette.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Hard work, death of parents, extreme wealth, expectations, May-December romance, regret, gender roles.

MESSAGE - You get what you work for.

Special Keywords: S5 - V3 - P4 - MPAAPG-13

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A CAVEAT: We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and some of our early standards were not as stringent as they are now. We therefore need to revisit many older reviews, especially those written prior to 1998 or so; please keep this in mind if you're consulting a review from that period. While we plan to revisit and correct older reviews our resources are limited and it is a slow, time-consuming process.




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