The Heartbreak Kid [2007] [R] - 8.5.6

 
 

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ASSIGNED NUMBERS

Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

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Ben Stiller stars as a man who's unable to commit to a permanent relationship, until he meets an attractive woman (Malin Akerman) and marries her on a whim after a short courtship, thinking that she is an ideal match. However, during their honeymoon he realizes that she has all sorts of odd idiosyncrasies, and to complicate matters further he meets yet another attractive woman (Michelle Monaghan) with whom he instantly falls in love. Remake of the 1972 Elaine May comedy. Also with Jerry Stiller, Carlos Mencia and Robert Corddry. Directed by Peter & Bobby Farrelly. [2:38]

SEX/NUDITY 8 - A husband and wife have sex: she straddles him and thrusts violently, she yells at him, insults him and orders him to hit her, she strikes him in the face, they slap each other's hands, and he rolls her over and thrusts violently while she yells out more orders (we see his bare chest and her bare breasts).
 A husband and a wife have sex: we see them in varying positions and she asks him if he'd like to try others; she twists her hips, we hear crunching and he yells in pain (we see his bare chest and her bare breasts), and she wraps her leg around his shoulder and thrusts -- we see them lying in bed together afterward.
 A woman pulls down her pants while on a public beach in order to urinate on a man's back (to soothe a jellyfish sting) and we see her pubic hair and a genital piercing. A man and a woman sit in a hot tub, the man is bare-chested and the woman's large, bare beasts are seen floating on top of the water. We see the cover of a pornographic video with a nude man (his bare chest, abdomen and hip are visible) standing behind a nude woman who's bent over at the waist (her bare breasts, with stars covering the nipples, and her abdomen and legs are visible).
 A man and a woman enter an exhibit where they think they are going to see a folk dance and we see a burro mounting a woman (the woman is standing and wearing a short dress and the burro has its front legs on her shoulders).
 A sleeping husband rolls over in bed and places his hand on his wife's clothed breast (she is wearing a low-cut negligee that reveals cleavage).
 A woman climbs out of bed after having sex with a man and we see her bare back to the waist. Women wear low-cut dresses that reveal cleavage in several scenes throughout the movie. A woman's dress floats up around her waist when she falls into the sea and her underwear is visible. We see people on a beach in swimwear.
 A man and a woman kiss and he caresses her clothed buttock. A husband and wife lie in bed together and she caresses his chest and nipple (he asks her to stop).
 A man and a woman kiss in several settings. A man and a woman try to kiss while riding bikes (please see the Violence/Gore category for more details).
 A married man flirts with another woman and arranges a date with her; he then lies to his wife about where he will be later.
 A man picks up a pair of a woman's panties off the street where a woman dropped them, and another man looks at them and talks about them in sexual terms.
 A wife talks about her husband putting his penis in her hand and that she struck him (presumably on his genitals), however, it is revealed that it was not her husband but another man. A wife asks her husband if he thinks she should shave her pubic hair and talks about being able to see her genital piercing. Two men talk about how attractive a woman looks and then about how attractive her mother is. A wife tells her husband, in crude terms, that they should get a room and have sex and he swerves his car on the highway in order to reach the nearest exit. A man says, "I lost my virginity on a baseball diamond," and goes on to describe what other people understand was anal rape, but he explains that he was only joking. A father talks to his adult son about why he has not had sex since breaking up with his girlfriend. A woman talks about a man's license plate that reads "Born Hard." A man makes a remark about women with a sense of humor being "mannish" and lists famous women who are gay. Two young teenage boys ask a man if he is gay and insist, in an accusatory manner, that he must be.
 Men and women dance together at a reception. A man sees many couples in restaurants and romantic settings and misunderstands when a woman sitting alone looks at him, thinking that she might be interested in having him join her (her date comes back to the table).

VIOLENCE/GORE 5 - A man with a baseball bat strikes a man on the head and then the leg (we hear the blows and the man rolls on the floor in pain).
 A man grabs a man around the neck, and then shoves a spicy pepper up his nose (we see his red nose and he gags and sputters).
 A man grabs a man by the shirt and yells at him and shoves him.
 A woman flips over a stone wall and lands in the sea below; a man jumps in after her and pulls her out safely.
 A man comes out of the sea with a jellyfish attached to his back, people swing sticks at it and eventually pull it off; then a woman urinates on his back (we see the stream) in order to soothe the sting (please see the Sex/Nudity category for more details).
 A man trying to cross the Mexican U.S. border without proper documentation is struck in the head with a gun by a border patrol officer, and then snared in a net when he tries again; eventually he's handcuffed when he tries for a third time.
 A man runs alongside a moving train, men inside the train reach out to help him, they pull him up, and then punch and kick him repeatedly and throw him back off the train (he rolls on the ground).
 A man steals a woman's purse (she is thrown to the ground) another man tries to stop him but he is sprayed in the face with what he thinks is mace but it is perfume; the robber gets away.
 A woman crashes into something while biking and slams to the ground (she is OK). A man is struck in the chest with something that is thrown at a party (he is OK). A woman opens a bottle of champagne and the cork strikes a man in the head. Two boys bang their heads together on purpose (we hear a crack but they are uninjured).
 A man threatens to punch a man and moves toward him (another man holds him back). A man and a woman argue and he leaves the room. A woman yells at a man when he tries to apply cream to her severely sunburned back.
 A woman ends up with a severe sunburn after using mineral oil while sunbathing (we see her with bright red skin, swollen eyes, and blistered and pealing skin). A woman screams when she sees her extremely swollen facial features due to a severe sunburn.
 A man sneaks into a woman's bedroom and she is startled to wake up and find him sitting next to her on the floor.
 A man tells two young teenage boys that his wife was murdered by a lunatic with an ice pick. A man teases another man about his doing whatever his wife tells him to do. A man makes a joke about another man being in prison for organizing "cockfights." A father is concerned about his son attending the wedding of his ex-fiancée on Valentine's Day. A woman says that she did cocaine and her cocaine habit caused her to develop a deviated septum. A woman talks about being stung by a jellyfish and that the only way to get the sting out is to urinate on the spot. A man talks about another man urinating in the hall of a hotel.
 We hear a woman urinate and flatulate. A woman drinks apple juice and it sprays out of her nose; later she cries and a piece of meat comes out of her nose (she blames these occurrences on her deviated septum).

PROFANITY 6 - 12 F-words, 19 sexual references, 12 scatological terms, 25 anatomical terms, 24 mild obscenities, 3 derogatory terms for homosexuals, 3 derogatory terms for women, name-calling (punks, stupid), 3 religious profanities, 6 religious exclamations. [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - A man and a woman smoke marijuana and a woman says that she did cocaine and her cocaine habit caused her to develop a deviated septum. People drink alcohol at a party, people are shown drinking alcohol at a bar and again at a cookout, people drink alcohol at a bar and we see them doing several shots of alcohol, a man drinks from a bottle of alcohol and appears drunk, and a woman opens a champagne bottle, pours a glass and drinks.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Love, commitment, marriage, divorce, homosexuality, homophobia, death of a spouse, murder, making bad choices, stereotyping, happiness, deception, trust, following your instincts, being a control freak.

MESSAGE - Some people are just incapable of having long-term relationships, and should just not get married.

Special Keywords: S8 - V5 - P6 - MPAAR

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