The Haunted Mansion [2003]

 
 

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ASSIGNED NUMBERS

Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

MPAA Rating: PG

A workaholic real estate agent (Eddie Murphy) and his wife (Marsha Thomason) meet a prospective client at a mansion where mysterious things are rumored to be going on. When the road washes out due to a storm the couple and their two children (Marc John Jefferies and Aree Davis) stay the night, and finally learn the truth about the house by way of a creepy butler (Terrence Stamp), a woman in a crystal ball (Jennifer Tilly) and two ethereal caretakers (Wallace Shawn and Dina Waters). Directed by Rob Minkoff. [1:39]

SEX/NUDITY 2 - A man and a woman kiss a few times. A man looks at a woman lovingly. A man makes a comment to his son when he finds a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition in his room (we see the cover with a woman in a bikini). We briefly see a nude woman (she is drawn in line art, and no details are apparent) on a tarot card. A woman wears a clingy, soft dress that reveals cleavage. A woman wears a low-cut gown that reveals cleavage and bare shoulders. A portrait of a woman shows her bare shoulders. A man accuses another man of "getting jiggy" with his wife.

VIOLENCE/GORE 5 - There is eerie organ music played and a booming, ghostly voice speaks while the opening credits roll and we watch events that lead to a woman's death (we see her fall limp on a sofa after drinking poisoned wine) and a man hanging himself (we see him dangling with the rope around his neck). Suits of armor come to life, swing their swords, flails (spiked balls on chains) and spears at a man, the man is nearly hit with an axe, he stabs one with a spear and lifts it into the air, and others have their "heads" lopped off. A woman collapses after having drunk poisoned wine, and her body levitates off the ground. A man with a sword threatens another man. Two children are locked in a trunk and hung from a chain. A man is thrown through a window, crashes onto a house roof, slides off and crashes onto a car roof. A man and two children walk through a cemetery, the man and girl go into a crypt, they open a coffin, we see a decayed and skeletal corpse, and the man removes a key from the corpse's hand (we hear crunching and squishing); the corpse and many other corpses begin to move and come after the two, the man knocks the head off of one and it floats in the water near a girl who screams while she is grabbed at by many other zombies. A girl goes under water where there are many decayed corpses. A zombie's arm is cut off when it is closed in a door (we see it hit the floor). Ghostly forms fly through a room, flames from a fireplace grow and take the shape of a dragon wrapping itself around a man (he's a ghost) who is taken down into a deep hole, and he grabs another man as he goes but the man is pulled back up. A man sees his reflection in a mirror and his face looks decayed and mummified (he screams). A man threatens two children. A door is covered with many large spiders and a boy must open the door (he ends up with many spiders crawling on him). A man levitates in a chair, spins around a room with a table, he runs through a hallway chased by floating musical instruments and he's hit in the face by a drum. A man drives a car through a large window and crashes into a house. A ghostly horse-drawn carriage crashes through a wall, and the two ghostly drivers lose their heads when they crash into a tree limb. We see many ghosts in various activities -- one shoots another in the head with an arrow, and two duel with guns. People go into a house (the door opens by itself) while a storm is raging outside (thunder roars and lightning flashes) and a man approaches them from the shadows. A woman speaks (her head that is) from a crystal ball and talks about an evil spell. A man goes into a secret passage and the door rumbles as it closes behind him. A man swings at a ghost that turns to vapor. People discover a large, spooky cemetery in the back of an estate. A glowing vapor appears and frightens a girl and boy. Creepy-looking vines and tree limbs are all around the outside of the large house, we see animal heads, bones and body parts in a study, and a portrait of a rider changes to look skeletal. Portraits on a wall become animated as people pass, stone busts sing and move and a door appears to be breathing. Many "ghost balls" (glowing vapor) float into the sky. A man and a woman argue. A boy screams when he sees a spider and a girl squishes the spider on a window (we hear a crunch and see goo). A shockwave emits from a house and knocks a boy to the ground. A man talks about a woman having committed suicide and a man having hung himself because of a broken heart.

PROFANITY 3 - 4 scatological terms, 2 anatomical terms, 5 mild obscenities, 2 religious exclamations. [profanity glossary]

DISCUSSION TOPICS - The supernatural, love, desperation, fears, hope, greed, family vs. career, sacrifice, duty, honor, priorities, disappointment, truth, second chances, forgiveness, murder, suicide, grief.

MESSAGE - Being scared is OK. The only true failure is when you stop trying to resolve a scary situation.

(Note: People drink alcohol.)

Special Keywords: S2 - V5 - P3 - MPAAPG

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