Become a Premium Member | Only $2 a month

► You're making sure we survive
► Exclusive previews
► No more ads


The Haunted Mansion [2003]



Although our site is very popular, the current economic climate has reduced our revenues just when we need extra security to prevent attacks from hackers who don't like what we do. If you think what we do is worthwhile, please donate or become a member.


Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

 [more »]

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
1 to 10

MPAA Rating: PG

A workaholic real estate agent (Eddie Murphy) and his wife (Marsha Thomason) meet a prospective client at a mansion where mysterious things are rumored to be going on. When the road washes out due to a storm the couple and their two children (Marc John Jefferies and Aree Davis) stay the night, and finally learn the truth about the house by way of a creepy butler (Terrence Stamp), a woman in a crystal ball (Jennifer Tilly) and two ethereal caretakers (Wallace Shawn and Dina Waters). Directed by Rob Minkoff. [1:39]

SEX/NUDITY 2 - A man and a woman kiss a few times. A man looks at a woman lovingly. A man makes a comment to his son when he finds a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition in his room (we see the cover with a woman in a bikini). We briefly see a nude woman (she is drawn in line art, and no details are apparent) on a tarot card. A woman wears a clingy, soft dress that reveals cleavage. A woman wears a low-cut gown that reveals cleavage and bare shoulders. A portrait of a woman shows her bare shoulders. A man accuses another man of "getting jiggy" with his wife.

VIOLENCE/GORE 5 - There is eerie organ music played and a booming, ghostly voice speaks while the opening credits roll and we watch events that lead to a woman's death (we see her fall limp on a sofa after drinking poisoned wine) and a man hanging himself (we see him dangling with the rope around his neck). Suits of armor come to life, swing their swords, flails (spiked balls on chains) and spears at a man, the man is nearly hit with an axe, he stabs one with a spear and lifts it into the air, and others have their "heads" lopped off. A woman collapses after having drunk poisoned wine, and her body levitates off the ground. A man with a sword threatens another man. Two children are locked in a trunk and hung from a chain. A man is thrown through a window, crashes onto a house roof, slides off and crashes onto a car roof. A man and two children walk through a cemetery, the man and girl go into a crypt, they open a coffin, we see a decayed and skeletal corpse, and the man removes a key from the corpse's hand (we hear crunching and squishing); the corpse and many other corpses begin to move and come after the two, the man knocks the head off of one and it floats in the water near a girl who screams while she is grabbed at by many other zombies. A girl goes under water where there are many decayed corpses. A zombie's arm is cut off when it is closed in a door (we see it hit the floor). Ghostly forms fly through a room, flames from a fireplace grow and take the shape of a dragon wrapping itself around a man (he's a ghost) who is taken down into a deep hole, and he grabs another man as he goes but the man is pulled back up. A man sees his reflection in a mirror and his face looks decayed and mummified (he screams). A man threatens two children. A door is covered with many large spiders and a boy must open the door (he ends up with many spiders crawling on him). A man levitates in a chair, spins around a room with a table, he runs through a hallway chased by floating musical instruments and he's hit in the face by a drum. A man drives a car through a large window and crashes into a house. A ghostly horse-drawn carriage crashes through a wall, and the two ghostly drivers lose their heads when they crash into a tree limb. We see many ghosts in various activities -- one shoots another in the head with an arrow, and two duel with guns. People go into a house (the door opens by itself) while a storm is raging outside (thunder roars and lightning flashes) and a man approaches them from the shadows. A woman speaks (her head that is) from a crystal ball and talks about an evil spell. A man goes into a secret passage and the door rumbles as it closes behind him. A man swings at a ghost that turns to vapor. People discover a large, spooky cemetery in the back of an estate. A glowing vapor appears and frightens a girl and boy. Creepy-looking vines and tree limbs are all around the outside of the large house, we see animal heads, bones and body parts in a study, and a portrait of a rider changes to look skeletal. Portraits on a wall become animated as people pass, stone busts sing and move and a door appears to be breathing. Many "ghost balls" (glowing vapor) float into the sky. A man and a woman argue. A boy screams when he sees a spider and a girl squishes the spider on a window (we hear a crunch and see goo). A shockwave emits from a house and knocks a boy to the ground. A man talks about a woman having committed suicide and a man having hung himself because of a broken heart.

PROFANITY 3 - 4 scatological terms, 2 anatomical terms, 5 mild obscenities, 2 religious exclamations. [profanity glossary]

DISCUSSION TOPICS - The supernatural, love, desperation, fears, hope, greed, family vs. career, sacrifice, duty, honor, priorities, disappointment, truth, second chances, forgiveness, murder, suicide, grief.

MESSAGE - Being scared is OK. The only true failure is when you stop trying to resolve a scary situation.

(Note: People drink alcohol.)

Special Keywords: S2 - V5 - P3 - MPAAPG

Our Ratings Explained

Tell Friends About Our Site

Become a Member

A CAVEAT: We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and some of our early standards were not as stringent as they are now. We therefore need to revisit many older reviews, especially those written prior to 1998 or so; please keep this in mind if you're consulting a review from that period. While we plan to revisit and correct older reviews our resources are limited and it is a slow, time-consuming process.

INAPPROPRIATE ADS? We have little control over ads since we belong to ad agencies that serve ads automatically; a standing order should prevent provocative ads, but inappropriate ads do sneak in.
What you can do



Become a member: You can subscribe for as little as a couple of dollars a month and gain access to our premium site, which contains no ads whatsoever. Think about it: You'll be helping support our site and guarantee that we will continue to publish, and you will be able to browse without any commercial interruptions.


Tell all your friends: Please recommend to your friends and acquaintances; you'll be helping them by letting them know how useful our site is, while helping us by increasing our readership. Since we do not advertise, the best and most reliable way to spread the word is by word-of-mouth.


Alert local & national media: Let major media know why you trust our ratings. Call or e-mail a local newspaper, radio station or TV channel and encourage them to do a story about our site. Since we do not have a PR firm working for us, you can be our media ambassadors.

Copyright © 1992- Critics. All rights reserved. "Kids-In-Mind™" and "Movie Ratings That Actually Work™" are Service Marks of Critics. For legal queries please see our Terms of Use; for comments or questions see our contact page.