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The Five-Year Engagement [2012] [R] - 7.4.9



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Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
1 to 10


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A man (Jason Segel) proposes to a woman (Emily Blunt) and they begin planning their wedding and their future together; when she is offered a post-doctoral position at a university in Michigan, they leave their San Francisco home thinking it will be a two year delay in their plans. But it doesn't turn out that way and as more time passes, it becomes harder and harder to pin down a wedding date. Also with Chris Pratt, Alison Brie, Rhys Ifans and Kevin Hart. Directed by Nicholas Stoller. [2:04]

SEX/NUDITY 7 - A man and a woman have sex and we see the man thrusting on top of her in bed (we see his bare chest and back and she has a top on) for an extended period of time; the woman asks, "Is this going to happen?" the man continues to thrust, and then fakes climax and leaves the room. A man and a younger woman have sex several times in one night and we see them in different positions in bed thrusting (he thrusts on top of her, she thrusts on top of him, and he thrusts from behind her) with the woman yelling at the man to go faster (the man is bare-chested and the woman is wearing a camisole with her lower body covered by bed clothes).
 A woman slaps a man in the face with a handful of potato salad, she puts his hand in the salad and hits herself in the face with his hand, she caresses the man's face and kisses him, and she pulls off his shirt and she unfastens his pants (we see his bare chest and abdomen); she then slaps him in the face with slices of deli meat, she removes her top (we see her bra, chest and abdomen), hands the man a condom and asks him to have sex with her (the man leaves).
 A man is shown wearing an apron with a picture of a nude male statue on it (bare chest, abdomen, genitals and legs are visible) and we see the man's bare buttocks when he turns around and is wearing no pants. Women are shown wearing low-cut tops and dresses that reveal cleavage, bare shoulders and backs in several scenes throughout the movie. A woman wears a short dress that reveals her legs to mid-thigh. A man is shown wearing only an adult diaper (his bare chest, abdomen and legs are seen). Women wear low-cut tops that reveal cleavage in a few scenes. People hold sheets up in front of a man and a woman while they change their clothes in a park (nothing is shown).
 A man holds a carrot to his crotch, then dips the carrot in sauce and flips it up and down while holding it to his crotch (simulating ejaculation) and sauce splatters on his clothes and his face.
 A man and a woman kiss while sitting on a bed; sex is not shown but implied when we then see them lying (presumably nude) under covers in the bed (their bare shoulders are seen). A man and a woman kiss while sitting on a sofa, the woman climbs onto the man's lap and straddles him, they continue to kiss and then talk about having sex (sex is implied). A man and a woman kiss, they lie back on a bed and continue to kiss (sex is implied but not shown). A man and a woman kiss, they lie back and sex is implied (nothing is shown). Sex between a man and a woman who just met is implied.
 A man kisses a woman who is engaged to another man; she pulls away and leaves. A man and a woman kiss across a preparation table at a restaurant, and another man makes a sexual remark and a comment about the act being unhygienic. A man and a woman kiss in several scenes. A man and a woman kiss passionately in front of a crowd and the woman wraps her leg around the man. A man and a woman kiss and he holds her clothed buttock. A man proposes marriage to a woman, she accepts and they kiss. A man and a woman kiss. A woman kisses a man. A man and a woman lie in bed together and hold each other (the woman is wearing a camisole and the man is bare-chested). A man and a woman kiss and he smacks her on the clothed buttock. A man kisses a woman on the forehead. A man and a woman hug. A woman and her girlfriend hug.
 Men and women dance at a party. A man flirts with a woman while showing her a wedding reception venue.
 A man makes a crude sexual remark about another man's fiancée. Three men tease a woman about white peonies and black peonies (making references to genital size and race). A woman tells her sister that she is pregnant (she is not married). A man shows a slide show of another man's numerous girlfriends at his engagement party and remarks, "They claim no sex." A man accuses another man of flirting with a woman and makes a crude sexual remark. A man talks about what happens to the size of his genitals when he is cold. A woman tells her adult son, "I had vaginal reconstruction surgery." A woman says to another woman, "C is for condom" while speaking in the voice of a child's program character and the child is listening. A man and a woman talk about the man faking an orgasm. A man makes a recommendation for a psychology study that involves masturbation. A man says, "Frogs can spontaneously switch sexes." A woman tells a man, "I want to get weird with you tonight." A man says, "San Francisco is for lovers."

VIOLENCE/GORE 4 - A little girl accidentally shoots a cross bow and the arrow hits a woman in the leg; the woman screams, a man pulls the arrow out and we see the bloody hole left in her leg. A woman cuts her finger in the kitchen of a restaurant and we see blood spurt on a glass divider.
 A man says, "I have to beat the [scatological term] out of..." and chases a man; they run through a city street, they dodge cars, one man tries to run over a car but slips and falls off the back and onto the ground, they stop in an alley and argue, and one man swings at the other man who punches him in the throat (the man winces and gasps but is OK). A man falls asleep in a psychology testing lab, another man covers him with blood and feathers, places a gun in the man's hand, and then screams in the man's ear; the man wakes up, shoots the gun, grabs the man and slams him onto the bed while they are both screaming.
 A man chips thick ice off his car windshield, and he slips and hits his head on the car (we see him fall to the ground but see him later without injuries). A man jumps on a pile of snow and hits his hip on a buried fire hydrant; the man rolls over onto a woman lying in the snow next to him and complains of the pain. A man opens his car door and hits a woman as she runs passed him (she falls to the ground and is seen limping later).
 A man shoots a deer with a gun, we see the deer fall to the ground dead (no blood is shown), we see the deer tied to the roof of a car, it slides off when the car moves and the driver puts the dead deer in the passenger seat of his car. A man shoots a cross bow at a deer and the deer runs away unharmed. We see a video of a cat tormenting another cat that attacks it (no blood or injury is shown).
 A very drunk man, not wearing pants, runs through the snow and we see him collapsed and nearly unconscious begging for help; one of his toes is exposed and blackened and we later see him in the hospital and the toe has been amputated.
 A man yells at another man and insults him. People laugh at and mock a man. Several people argue about who will perform a wedding ceremony and what religious symbols will be included in the ceremony. A man and a woman argue. A woman argues with her adult daughter.
 A woman says, "Grandpa suffered a fatal stroke." A man is described as looking "like a murderer." A man talks about "blood diamonds." A woman encourages her daughter to set a wedding date and says, "Grandparents do die." A man talks about a psychology study where a subject would be put to sleep, then covered with blood and feathers, and then be awakened by someone screaming in his ear. A man tells a woman that she is "wallowing" and "Put a sock in it." A man tells his adult son, "I had two heart attacks after Mom had a cancer scare," and goes on to say that "she had emotional issues"; the man's wife says, "I had vaginal reconstruction surgery." A woman says "puke."
 A woman (she is drunk) talks to a man over a food preparation table in a restaurant, she gags several times and it appears that she has thrown up in her mouth and then swallows it; another man is appalled when he realizes what she has done and begins to gag (he does not vomit). A man and a woman kiss across a preparation table at a restaurant and another man makes a remark about the act being unhygienic.
 A woman slaps a man in the face with a handful of potato salad, she puts his hand in the salad and hits herself in the face with his hand, and she slaps the man in the face with slices of deli meat and squirts him in the face with hot pepper sauce (the man screams when the sauce burns his eyes).
 Firecrackers detonate on a street and we see a man jump when he is startled by the sound. We see people gathered and grieving at funerals in several scenes.

PROFANITY 9 - About 41 F-words and its derivatives, 2 obscene hand gestures, 18 sexual references, 14 scatological terms, 18 anatomical terms, 7 mild obscenities, name-calling (gross, moron, stupid, dumb, crazy, fat, selfish, brain dead, idiot, pickle nerd, screw-ups, terrible father, freak), exclamations (shoot, shut up), 2 religious profanities, 21 religious exclamations. [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - Two glasses of champagne are shown on a table where a man and a woman are seated, a woman tells a man that they should "Get you a drink" when he appears nervous, people drink alcohol at a bar, a man and a woman drink champagne, a woman drinks a glass of wine and offers a glass to a man who declines the offer, a woman drinks an alcoholic beverage, a woman is shown holding a beer bottle (we do not see her drink), people are shown drinking alcohol in several party scenes, and a man says, "I am an alcoholic" in front of a crowd of people. We see a photograph of a man (at his funeral) holding a cigar and a drink (presumably alcohol).

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Marriage, relationships, infidelity, martyrdom, life choices, following opportunities, dreams, goals, career vs. family, gender roles, bad decisions, weddings, wedding planners, success/failure, second chances.

MESSAGE - Life can mess up your plans but don't lose sight of the people who are important to you.

Special Keywords: S7 - V4 - P9 - MPAAR

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