Disaster Movie [2008] [PG-13] - 7.8.5

 
 

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ASSIGNED NUMBERS

Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

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Parody of other films, with five people (Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnillo, Gary "G-Thang" Johnson, Nicole Parker and Crista Flanagan) screaming and crying their way through a series of never-ending disasters that include earthquakes, tornado funnels, the clash of mentally ill superheroes, rabid rodents, wind storms, and more. Characters die repeatedly and reappear in other disasters, but the protagonists survive. Also with Carmen Electra and Ike Barinholtz. Directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. [1:30]

SEX/NUDITY 7 - A completely nude young man is shown in a full frontal pose, but the area between knees and abdomen is pixeled out. A young woman shown from the waist up lifts her T-shirt, a large sign of "Hairy Girls Gone Wild" covers her breasts and we see a lot of hair above and below the sign. A young man appears in 5 scenes wearing only underwear that's bulging disproportionately. The wind blows the clothing off a male green giant and he covers his crotch. A woman wears cutoff jeans that reveal the bottom of her buttocks. A young woman appears in most scenes of the film wearing a series of short cocktail dresses that reveal bare legs and cleavage. A young woman wears a halter-top that reveals cleavage.
 A young man in bed speaks to a girlfriend, and a nude man in a Viking helmet, jewelry, and a clock in front of his genitals says, "I'm giving your girl the flavor of love" and leaves; the girl then rises (she's in a bra and brief panties and we see moderate cleavage), a dwarf wearing only briefs and socks hops out of the bed, flashes an obscene gesture and leaves quickly.
 A Hindu guru performs a marriage ceremony and tells the couple to tickle his pickle and he raises his robes to reveal trousers. A young man appears nude and we see a full frontal pose (his genital area is covered), jumps onto the back of another young man and we then see the nude man from the back and side (bare buttocks are visible); while struggling, the nude man asks the other man out on a date several times and receives no answer. A young woman pulls a crystal skull from under her skirt, implying she had it in her vagina.
 A young man kisses another young man on the cheek and rolls his eyes, suggesting sexual pleasure. A priest slaps a young man on the buttocks as he walks past him. A man embraces a young woman and rubs her clothed buttocks while making a suggestive remark.
 Three scenes show two young female wrestlers in one-piece bathing suits, showing significant cleavage, bare thighs and we see parts of their bare buttocks: both women wear knee-high black leather high heeled boots and one has a fishnet stocking, and they wrestle and play Twister. The film's out-take sequence is comprised of sexual language, female wrestling, and women showing significant cleavage in low-cut blouses. Throughout the film, a pregnant teen lifts her shirt to show her bare abdomen. A young woman raises her skirt to dance (we see no flesh).
 An unmarried pregnant teen sings about not wanting an abortion while her boyfriend sings that she should get one. A homeless young woman dressed as Cinderella states several times that she has sex with anyone for a price, all the way down to $5.00, dances with pelvic thrusts aimed at male spectators, refers to a prince as her pimp, kisses a man briefly twice, bats her eyelashes at several men, and removes her wig, becomes a man and states that he is a "tranny." A male singer dances with pelvic thrusts and sings about asking someone on a date, and opens his shirt to reveal a T-shirt that reads "I 'heart' Lance Bass," implying a homosexual relationship. A young man talks on a phone to his mother, asks how her work as a prostitute is going, and he hands the phone to a young woman who discusses mutual prostitution work. A man states that a woman told him that he is all of her top 4 lovers at once and that she's been around the block sexually. A young man tells another young man that the second man's mom gets around sexually. A middle-aged man looks at a woman's breasts and asks, "Are those things real?" A middle-aged man calls many young women at a party "hot" (they are wearing blouses that display a little cleavage, except for one that displays significant cleavage). A young man seeks a girlfriend throughout the film, referring to women with derogatory, sexually suggestive terms. A young woman sings a commercial, mentioning her line of sexy lingerie at Target.
 A series of quick scenes portray all of the film's characters, in groups or individually, singing a song about dating and implying that "dating" means sexual intercourse; a man sings that he is dating Matt Damon and his girlfriend responds that she is dating Hannah Montana, each additional woman sings that she dates a woman and each man sings that he dates a man, two characters sing that they date everyone, a man sings that he dates all of the cheerleaders and basketball players at a high school, and most of the characters dance with suggestive pelvic thrusting.
 A group of cheerleaders and basketball players dance and sway (sometimes suggestively), the girls wear miniskirts and tops that show abdomens but no cleavage and the boys wear knee-length shorts. A man in a Viking helmet, jewelry, and a clock in front of his genitals dances at the end of the film along with a dwarf wearing briefs and socks. Throughout the film, young men dance and grab their crotches.
 A young woman sports a full-length tattoo of a scantily clad woman on her left bicep (the figure shows bare cleavage, abdomen and thighs to the hip).

VIOLENCE/GORE 8 - The film is a series of abruptly changing scenes of earthquakes, tornadoes, mass assassinations, pregnancy, childbirth in emergency situations, violent fist fights, female wrestling matches, multiple automatic gunshots, dismemberment, stabbings, martial arts bouts, attacks by rabid chipmunks and museum statues that become animated, and attacks by deranged superheroes.
 During a shaky, windy scene, a dozen dismembered arms, thighs, hands, and feet drop from the sky and we see each one, very red, with a bone sticking out (they look like plastic).
 Four young adults enter a storeroom in the darkness and hear flapping wings, mechanical chipmunks with wide, yellow-ring irises use demonic voices to sing unintelligible lyrics, one foams at the mouth and they all fly and chase the four people, biting them (no blood) on the shoulders, necks, backs, and on the genitals of one male (through clothing); the people beat the chipmunks with metal poles and then trap them in a metal garbage can (we hear grunting, screaming, crying, crunching and thudding), the chipmunks knock down a pregnant teen and eat her back (we see ribs and vertebrae and a small amount of blood and gore) and the teen dies (she reappears in a later scene).
 A young woman eats a beer bottle (we see her very bloody mouth and blood runs down the left side of her chin), and the scene cuts to her on a street outside with friends (no blood). A young woman rides in a car, steps out into broken glass and her bare toes are shown completely bloodied (when she walks into a nearby building, her toes show no blood or injury at all).
 A large meteor strikes a sidewalk, the camera pans around it and we see the top half of a young woman (she shows no pain and sings commercials). A man falls from the sky to impale himself on a sword held by another man: there is no blood, and the scene ends abruptly. A boulder falls onto a young woman: she disappears, we see no injury and a man screams, "They killed her, they killed her."
 A young woman runs up to a race car, pulls the driver from the car, throws him to the ground, takes an automatic handgun from his pocket, empties two clips of ammo shooting at him (off camera) and she and two friends take the car and drive away. In four scenes we see young adults (two women and two men) shot between the eyes, with the bullet going in and leaving a red circle.
 In a museum, a young woman is pinned to the floor by the spear of a statue that has fallen forward, we see a streak of blood from her shoulder, three other young people enter the room, one man drops a vase on her head to knock her out but fails, another man punches her in the face and head- butts her twice, she is punched in the face again several times, and the statue is pulled off her and she gets up (her shoulder shows no wound).
 A young man throws a spear in a museum and jumps onto the back of another young man and they struggle, falling into glass cases and shattering them; no injuries occur. A pregnant teen is shown from the chest-up while, seemingly, her legs come up and kick a man in the face several times without effort; a slimy baby's leg comes up and kicks the man's face as well, it is pushed into the man's mouth and the teen says, "Suck it!"
 The opening sequence is obscured by a very wide black band that runs completely across the middle of the screen, we hear animal growls and see running bare feet and then a bare shoulder in a jungle; when the band disappears it reveals a young bare-chested man lying back on the ground in a close up, another young man in a wrestling singlet stands over him and challenges him to an American Gladiators duel with padded batons, and they struggle and strike each other (there are no visible injuries). A martial arts fight occurs between a giant panda dressed in shorts and a young man: they scuffle, grimace, and screech, use bamboo poles (neither is injured), then break the poles in half and use them to fight again (no one is injured) and the panda is knocked down and the scene ends.
 A man throws a cable, it sticks to a car, he is dragged down the street and around the corner and reappears unharmed, but dirty, in another scene. A dwarf slams through a stone wall and is unharmed. A young man accidentally hits a young woman in the face with the tip of a whip and we see a red mark. A young man swings on a whip from a ceiling light and an Earth tremor ends the scene. A large paper-maché cow falls onto two men and onto a trio of large mechanical chipmunks; we do not see any injuries and all the characters reappear in other scenes. Two young men in separate scenes are struck in the crotch and bend over in pain, but recover quickly. Throughout the film, young adults slap one another in the face.
 An earthquake shakes a party hall, everyone runs outside screaming and crying, but no one is hurt; additional tremors occur throughout the film, but no one is injured. Emergency radio broadcasts warn of danger three times and a crowd at a party screams and runs outside each time. We see a large dinosaur skeleton in a dark museum, we see footprints from the skeleton, and men and women scream. A homeless man in dirty clothing sleeps on a bus stop bench and an 8-year-old boy yells insults at him, goes away and the man falls off the bench to end the scene.
 Throughout the film, a pregnant teen lifts her shirt to show her abdomen, break dances with spinning on her bare abdomen on the ground, sprays milk from both breasts while still clothed (we see this from behind) into the face of a man until he is drenched from head to chest, and ejects the slimy foot of the fetus (we see only the foot, not her genitals) to kick a man in the face and states that her water is breaking.
 A young woman impersonating Amy Winehouse comes out from behind a tree in a field and has hair two feet high, saber tooth fangs, black and rotten teeth, and tattoos on her right arm, left shoulder, abdomen, and left top of breast. After chugging a gallon of scotch, a young woman burps for a full minute into the face of a young man and then burps several times more. A young man sits on a couch filled with food of all types and stuffs his mouth messily.

PROFANITY 5 - 2 F-words partially bleeped out but recognizable, 1 obscene gesture indicating a penis, 5 sexual references, 20 scatological references, 24 anatomical references, 12 mild obscenities, 2 religious profanities, 8 religious exclamations, name-calling (douche, ho, stink eye, battlecross gallactica, sea monkey, crackhead, witch, LLNotCoolJ, Moorish ruffian, dark muffin, dark prince, crazy, tranny, and 3 mumbled indistinguishable names), 19 stereotypical remarks that include 3 about women as unintelligent sex objects, 7 about men, 1 about Harlem as a ghetto, 3 about African-Americans, 3 about dwarves, 2 about transvestites. [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - A pregnant teen pours a pint of vodka into a gallon of orange juice and chugs it at a party, saying it is time to get the baby drunk, a young woman takes a gallon of scotch out of her big hairdo and chugs it (she does not seem affected by it), two party scenes show hundreds of bottles of beer, wine, and whiskey on a bar and tables, young men and women are shown holding cups and bottles of beer, half-filled glasses of wine, tall glasses of liquor and a few take sips, a man asleep on a bus stop bench rolls off and a bottle of whiskey rolls away on the sidewalk, bottles of wine are shown on a coffee table in a living room, and two young men fill tote bags with liquor bottles to take away from a party, but drop them when the building begins to shake and the scene ends. Song lyrics contain the phrase "hooked on reefer." A young woman holds a cigar in her mouth briefly in a quick camera pan over her face -- the cigar is unlit.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Disasters, movies and movie roles, prostitution, sexual orientation, unwed pregnancy, alcohol, illegal drug use, mental illness, superheroes, fantasy vs. reality, imagination, cultural slang, name-calling, prejudice, different religions, body piercing, death, murder, firearms, abortion.

MESSAGE - Disaster movies are easy to parody, and parody movies are very easy to make.

Special Keywords: S7 - V8 - P5 - MPAAPG-13

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