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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul [2017] [PG] - 2.3.1



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Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
1 to 10


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A road trip to visit grandma on her 90th birthday does not prove popular with all family members, especially since all electronic devices are confiscated by the mom (Alicia Silverstone) in an attempt to spend a little time unplugged. Several mishaps and complications ensue. Also with Jason Drucker, , Tom Everett Scott, Charlie Wright, Owen Asztalos, Dylan Walters and Wyatt Walters. Directed by David Bowers. A couple of lines of dialogue are in Spanish with English subtitles. [1:31]

SEX/NUDITY 2 - We see a picture of a woman wearing a bikini top and low slung pants that reveal her cleavage and bare abdomen. A woman wears a leather bra-top and low-slung pants that reveal cleavage and bare abdomen. A woman's blouse is open to reveal cleavage and part of her bra. Several people are shown wearing swimsuits while sitting in a hot tub and later walking in a motel parking lot (we see a man's bare chest and abdomen, as well as a woman's cleavage and legs). A teen boy and a younger boy wear swim trunks that reveal bare chests, abdomens and backs. A woman wears a low-cut dress that reveals her cleavage. A boy wears a tank top and jockey style underwear.
 A teen boy pretends to be kissing someone when he wraps his arms around his back and moves his hands up and down, like someone caressing him.
 A teen boy talks about "hot girls" in a few scenes. A girl tells a boy to put some pants on when he comes out of his motel room wearing only a tank top and jockey style underwear.

VIOLENCE/GORE 3 - A man pulls a shower curtain back to find a boy (they struggle briefly and we see a quick homage to the "Psycho" shower scene) who sprays him in the eyes with shampoo; the man screams and falls into the tub. A man tries to grab a boy and the boy runs away. A man tries to grab a boy; the boy climbs over others at a spinning ride and knocks one girl in the head with his knee. A boy wakes up in a bed with a strange man; the boy screams, and the man screams and jumps after him as he runs out of the room. A young boy kicks an older boy in the shin. People steal items on a roadway as the owners of the items yell at them and chase them. A family breaks into a motel room to find stolen items.
 A man swerves while driving and trying to have a phone conversation and an oncoming truck honks, he drops the phone, other people in the car yell, a pig nearly jumps out the window, a young boy screams because he dropped his pacifier and we see the pig with it in its mouth, and the car speeds through construction barrels before stopping. A boy is nearly run down in a parking lot as a car passes and honks at him. A man driving a van looks at his cellphone while driving until his wife takes the phone away from him. A young boy is trapped in a climbing tunnel at a restaurant and two older boys go in to try to help him out.
 When two boys cannot be found in the morning, their mother calls the police to report them missing and becomes angry when she finds out where they have gone.
 Many pigeons gather on an open sunroof when a boy throws a cheese curl to them; they dive bomb the boy, take the bag and dump the curls back into the car before swarming the car; the driver speeds off the road, hits a rock and we see the occupants with bird feces on them. A tarp blows off a boat filled with belongings and the items fall onto the roadway causing other vehicles to swerve and honk. A girl pushes a cleaning cart toward a boy and it swerves and hits a car in the parking lot scratching the paint and upsetting its owner.
 A family pushes its broken down van up a hill and it rolls down on its own; the boat on a trailer behind it comes loose and careens with a boy in it over a fence and into a swimming pool splashing guests gathered there (the boy is not harmed).
 A woman yells at her son in front of a crowd of people and he yells at her later for embarrassing him. Two boys yell at their mother when she insists that they not use their electronic devices. A teen boy wears a T-shirt with the words, "Loded Diper" on it through much of the movie. A character says, "I hate that..." A teen boy inadvertently confesses to things that he did, like TP-ing a neighbor's house, driving a car without a license, etc. A girl blames a boy for causing damage to her father's car. A teen boy talks about a movie with mutant hillbillies that lure people off the main road to eat them.
 A boy searching for a younger boy in a ball pit at a restaurant pulls his hand up and it is covered by a presumably soiled diaper; as he shakes his hand trying to get the diaper off, he is filmed by others and mocked (we later see the event on social media). A man falls into a dumpster and comes out yelling and with a presumably soiled diaper on his hand.
 A container of cinnamon roll dough explodes and sprays people in a car with goo; a teen boy screams when he believes that he has been shot in the head and passes out when he sees a young child eating some of the goo. A boy spills a bag of cheese curls in a hot tub turning the water orange and he is stained from shoulders to feet when he gets out of the water. Family members stand outside a van as the driver guns it and the tires spins spraying the family members with mud.
 An empty swimming pool is shown with rats skittering around in it. A boy steps on a large bug in a motel bathroom and we see several others on the floor.
 An animated boy flies and a bird pokes him in the buttock causing the boy to fall into a garbage can on the ground. An animated tree is struck by lightning and is blackened.
 A teen boy holds his stomach while on a spinning fair ride; he vomits and we see a lot of goo come out of his mouth, splash onto a nearby man's face and we hear the man yelling that it is in his mouth later. A boy hides in a bathtub/shower when a man enters and sits on the toilet; we hear flatulating and several feces fall into the toilet water as the boy cringes (we hear plopping, flatulating, wiping and flushing). A boy urinates into a plastic bottle while in a car and we hear the trickle; he panics as the bottle fills up and must use another bottle also. A boy's clothed buttocks rub into the face of another boy when they are trapped in a climbing tunnel. A crying toddler smeared with food sits in a high chair in a restaurant. A woman tosses a presumably soiled diaper onto the plate of a man seated across from her and he makes a disgusted face. A teen boy and a boy eat deep fried butter on a stick at a county fair. A young pig flatulates loudly in a van and the occupants react to the odor by opening the windows. A teen boy picks his nose while inadvertently filming himself. People standing on the side of a road are splattered when a van runs over a suitcase containing toiletries. A young pig climbs into a portable potty chair (we do not see the pig do anything in it). A young boy cries without his pacifier in a few scenes.

PROFANITY 1 - 1 mild scatological term, name-calling (babies, losers, diaper hands, jerk, stupid, dork, fat beardo, spaz, punk, idiot, rip-off, disgusting, dumb, mutant hillbillies, creep), exclamations (what the heck, oh my gosh, a little slow, I swear), 4 religious exclamations (Oh God No, Thank God, Oh My God). [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - There is a mini bar in a hotel room and we see a glimpse of small bottles but no one drinks them.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Being a kid, the electronic generation, family time, lying, adventures.

MESSAGE - Family can become closer through adversity. ____________________________________________

Special Keywords: S2 - V3 - P1 - MPAAPG

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A CAVEAT: We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and some of our early standards were not as stringent as they are now. We therefore need to revisit many older reviews, especially those written prior to 1998 or so; please keep this in mind if you're consulting a review from that period. While we plan to revisit and correct older reviews our resources are limited and it is a slow, time-consuming process.

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