A mild-mannered executive (Will Ferrell) wants to be a great stepfather for his new wife's (Linda Cardellini) children, but competition comes from her colorful, motorcycle-riding ex (Mark Wahlberg). Also with Hannibal Buress, Thomas Haden Church, Paul Scheer, Bobby Cannavale and Billy Slaughter. Directed by Sean Anders. A line of Spanish dialogue is accompanied by English subtitles. [1:36]
SEX/NUDITY 5 - A man at a fertility clinic chooses a 16-ounce cup to fill with semen and leaves the room; another man takes a small cup, enters a room, we hear a zipper sound below the frame, the blinds fall off a large picture window and the camera cuts to the man's bare buttocks and thighs as he looks out into another picture window where over a dozen men and women look at his groin area (we do not see) and laugh, ending the scene. Two men visit a fertility clinic with a woman and one man is shown on an examination table with his back to the camera; the doctor guides the man's wife's hand into the groin area below the frame and says that testicles should not look or feel the way they do on her husband and she says they feel like all the others she has felt before (using a not fully enunciated anatomical term); the doctor has her ex-husband stand by the table, his back to the camera, lower his trousers and the woman stares as him and mutters, "James and the Giant Peach," and the doctor describes that testicles should look like the ex-husband's do.
► A man's boss tells him wildly sexual stories stating that his wife brought home a 23-year-old son from a previous relationship and the boss found them in bed together (he learned that the "son" was his wife's boyfriend); the boss says that his wife was a topless waitress who earned $99/hour (prostitution vaguely implied) and he goes on to say that all the women he dated had daddy issues. A man says that he caught his wife in bed with another man, both naked, and then found himself waking up with a golf ball tattooed on his back and seeming to be rolling into his anus.
► A drunken man on the court floor of an NBA game (please see the Substance Use category for more details) grabs a microphone and shouts at his wife's ex-husband in the stands, "I made love to our wife last night with my wiener out of my pants!," and he later leaves home at his wife's request. Discussing DIY repairs, a man tells another man in a double entendre that the first man's wife knows he is pretty good with his hands; the second man gets out a small tool box and we see a tampon in it. A man tells a little boy and a little girl a bedtime story in which he says, "The King knew that the Queen was in her prime"; in another story, he says, "The Queen was sad, because the Step-King could not produce an heir (implying infertility)." Two men tell a story to a young boy and a young girl about a King's and a Step-King's swords, describing them as "long and shiny" versus "more average and understanding" (they are a husband and an ex-husband of the same woman and are presumably speaking metaphorically). On the way to a kids' dance a man fixes another man's rumpled shirt by pushing it into the trouser waistband and the second man tells him to get his hand out of there; at the dance, the second man removes his shirt and dances, revealing a flabby chest and back that bounces. A wife at a kids' school dance asks her husband when he arrives, "Get anyone pregnant on your way here?" (he stares, embarrassed).
► A dozen basketball cheerleaders wear extremely short skirts that reveal full thighs and legs to the top of knee boots, along with bra-tops that reveal cleavage and bare midriffs as they dance and writhe to music. A man wears T-shirts and he raises his shirt or removes it several times to reveal his chest and abdomen. Two women wear deeply cut tops that reveal cleavage at a dinner. In a medical office, a woman wears a sleeveless clingy dress that reveals cleavage, hugs her hips and exposes bare thighs above her knees.
► A wife kisses her husband briefly in two scenes. A photo shows a man kissing a woman standing on a ski slope, with one of the woman's legs wrapped around the man's hip and their bodies pressed together.
► A doctor hugs a husband and wife at the same time in a fertility clinic, but seems to hug the woman several seconds longer than he hugs the man. A wife wearing a sleeveless opaque nightgown lies next to her husband, who is wearing long flannel pajamas and they discuss whether she wants another baby and he reminds her that he is unable to have children; they agree to try to have a child in the future and hold hands, lying side-by-side as the scene ends (no sex is implied).
► A dental X-ray machine slips and points into a male patient's groin area while a male voiceover states that the man is unable to have children now. In a medical waiting room a man sits between an infertile man and the man's wife and holds the hand of each person; a doctor says the presence of another "Alpha Male" (the woman's visiting ex-husband) caused the infertile man's testosterone level to rise, increasing his fertility and that the new husband will be having sex a lot with his wife and having a child (we see the woman later holding a small baby).
► A remarried woman is jealous of her ex-husband and his new wife and dresses up for a dinner she has for them; her muscular ex-husband meets his new wife's ex-husband and finds him even more muscular than himself, wearing a very tight T-shirt and tight jeans that emphasize his muscles and the new husband stares at the bigger man, who ignores him and walks past to speak to his ex-wife.
► A video shows two rhinos mating for a few seconds. A male dog dry humps a Mrs. Claus doll. A little girl's drawing of her mom holding a flashlight is suggestive (the flashlight is curved and done in a red outline, with several red rays emitted from the end).
VIOLENCE/GORE 4 - A man punches another man in the face lightly and then shakes his own hand, groaning in pain. At an elementary school father-daughter dance, older girls taunt a boy, asking him if he is a girl and the boy punches one of the girls in the face and kicks her in the groin after she falls to the floor; she gets up (apparently unharmed) and her father yells as the boy's dad and step dad push him and another man out of the way and begin a hip hop dance challenge instead.
► A man who has never ridden a motorcycle climbs on one, without a helmet and starts it, screaming as it speeds up his sidewalk, up the steps, into the house, out an upper story window, and down onto his SUV; we see and hear shattering glass fly across the driveway from the house door and window and see the SUV as it is crushed nearly flat and the man is stuck inside the house halfway through a wall (he coughs out white plaster dust clouds) until another man punches the wall and the first man falls out of it (we see the first man holding an ice pack to his shoulder as he rides to work with the other man and the injured man has a bandage on his temple.
► A man uses a backyard zip line from a tree house and descends using his extended legs to knock another man down; the second man gets up, disappears and reappears on the roof of the house, holding a skateboard that he uses to slide down the roof, jump onto a half pipe, and bounces up into a high tension wire (we see bolts of electricity and see his shirt burn slightly as he lands unconscious on the ground) while several children and a woman in the yard scream and a man rushes over to the victim, asking children to take his pulse and do chest compressions for CPR; a little girl pronounces the man dead and the second man takes over chest compressions (the victim revives with a long groan), the little girl screams that he has turned into a zombie and runs away (we see two long, wide scrapes on the man's shin and calf as the woman rubs disinfectant on them).
► Dozens of middle school and younger children sit in wheelchairs at a basketball game as a drunken man hits a cheerleader in the head with a basketball, knocking her unconscious, and then hits a young man in a wheelchair with a basketball, knocking him backwards and out of the chair (please see the Substance Use category for more details); no blood or injuries are visible and three men grab the man and carry him from the basketball playing floor. A man sitting in a traffic jam in a school's student pick-up line panics as other drivers yell at him and he speeds out of the line, knocking over several traffic cones as the crossing guard shouts in anger.
► A man panics and screams in anger in several scenes. A husband argues loudly with his wife about the price of their tickets near courtside at a basketball game and the crowd turns, staring at him. A boss says, "You and I will fight in the parking lot" and the fight never occurs. A screaming and crying little boy says that 4th graders are bullying him and beating him and his father says, "I want the primary caregivers dead, right now!" while the boy's mother says the bullies need their rear ends to be beaten and whopped and the step dad says the kids should do a dance off instead of fight. A little girl screams, "I hate you!" to her step dad because he does not want her to keep a filthy, sick dog a few weeks until it will die. A little girl gives her step dad crayon drawings of him stabbed with a knife stuck in one eye, aflame at shoulder and rear end, kicked in the groin by a Pilgrim and lying unconscious; in the first drawing, the step dad has a large brown pile of what the girl calls "homeless man poop" on his head. A man says that as a child he punched a bully in the nose, and then admits that he never punched the other child. A man cries violently because he is happy. Two men tell a little boy and a little girl a story about a King and a Step-King who are fighting with swords, cat-o'-nine tails, shotguns, grenades, rocket launchers, a black hole, and God for weapons (no details of the fight are revealed).
► Two men try to teach a little boy to punch; one man puts huge Ninja Turtle boxing gloves on a boy and ties a pillow around his chest and has him punch his hands as the scene ends. A dog growls at a man in several scenes and grabs one of his pant legs in its teeth in one scene.
► A man tells another man to pee around the entrance to a male guest's bedroom in order to make the guest leave, but the first man does not do so. A man brushes his teeth in a bathroom and we see some white foam on his lips and white spittle as he spits into the sink. A dirty, thin, cloudy-eyed dog named Tumor squats to urinate on a wooden floor (we do not hear or see urine or feces). A man says a dog has worms in his poop, but we do not see any defecation or worms. A man holds a puppy on top of a balcony wall and toward the camera as it urinates a yellow stream toward the camera. A man asks a rumpled employee what the body odor smell is in the office and the male employee says he has defecated in a wastebasket (we do not see it). A man adopts a diseased, filthy dog and names him Tumor.
PROFANITY 5 - A possible F-word, 22 scatological terms, 3 sexual references, 13 anatomical terms, 28 mild obscenities, name-calling (weird, crazy, idiots, so-and-so, stupid, wild, rascal, dead-meat, pretty boy, flaccid, racist, pussy, virile sea snake, whore, gross, tough guy, bastard, Paula Deen, Jesse James, Klan person), exclamations (shut your mouth), 2 religious profanities (GD), 24 religious exclamations (e.g. God Only Knows, Jesus In The Morning, Jesus, For Christ's Sake, Holy [anatomical term deleted], Holy [scatological term deleted], Oh My God, Oh God, God, Holy Moly, Hallelujah, Godspeed). [profanity glossary]
SUBSTANCE USE - A man says that another man was using steroids ("roids"). Five unopened bottles of wine are shown in a wine rack on a kitchen counter, a man brings an unopened bottle of wine to a house as a gift (no one opens it), a man tells another man he will offer the second man a cold one, a man asks for a cold one, two men hold beer bottles and four unopened beer bottles are seen on a table (the men are not shown drinking), a man says that he went out with a male friend for a beer, a woman and two men drink from beer bottles at home, an unopened beer bottle is shown on a desk in an office, a man orders five beers and gets one large can of beer at a basketball game (he opens the can and drinks), a man stumbles from his seat and slurs his words after drinking beer at a basketball game, and a man sits with a large bottle of beer (he is not shown drinking).
DISCUSSION TOPICS - Relationships, love, marriage, divorce, blended families, parenting, competition between stepparents, fertility problems, bullying, humiliation, jealousy, drunkenness, physical attractiveness, facing problems, responsibilities, cooperation, acceptance.
MESSAGE - Sincere parental love has no competition and blended families can get along well.