Blended [2014] [PG-13] - 5.3.4

 
 

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ASSIGNED NUMBERS

Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

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After suffering through a blind date, a man and a woman (Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore) find themselves on an African vacation together with their families and they discover that they each have more to offer than first impressions may have revealed. Also with Kevin Nealon, Terry Crews, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Bella Thorne, Alyvia Alyn Lind, Joel McHale, Abdoulaye NGom, Kyle Red Silverstein, Zak Henri, Jessica Lowe, Braxton Beckham, Shaquille O'Neal and Emma Fuhrmann. Directed by Frank Coraci. [1:57]

SEX/NUDITY 5 - We see a centerfold of a bikini clad woman (ample cleavage, bare abdomen and upper thighs are show) with the face of a teen boy's babysitter pasted on it as the teen boy lies in bed with a smile on his face; the boy's mother finds the picture and panics, and then tears the picture to pieces. A teen boy with a smile on his face lies sleeping in bed and we see a pornographic TV channel menu on the TV screen (a few women are shown wearing skimpy bikinis and their cleavage, abdomen and legs are seen). A teen girl stuffs her bra with gel shoe liners and her father opens the door (we see her upper chest, shoulders and abdomen); the teen is startled and throws the liners against a mirror (where they stick) and yells at her father. We see shelves in a store with pornographic magazines and they have plastic covers that conceal the cover photos. A man dances suggestively in many scenes while he dances; his song lyrics are suggestive, he thrusts his hips and he is shown shirtless in a couple of dancing scenes (we see his bare chest, abdomen and legs to the upper thigh). A man wearing only tight-fitting shorts while working out moves his pectorals one at a time while singing a song (we see his full bare chest, abdomen and legs to the upper thigh). A woman wears deeply cut tops and dresses that reveal her ample cleavage in several scenes and she frequently shimmies her breasts when she finds something to be "romantic." Women working in a Hooters restaurant are shown wearing low-cut and tight fitting tops that reveal ample cleavage as well as very short and tight-fitting shorts that reveal legs to the upper thigh. A woman wearing a low-cut dress that reveals cleavage jumps up and down and the dress falls off her shoulders revealing her bare shoulders and bra straps. A man lifts his T-shirt and reveals his bare abdomen that has a tattoo on it. A woman wears a low-cut dress that reveals cleavage and bare shoulders. A teen girl wears a nightgown that reveals cleavage. A woman throws her bra at a singer on-stage.
 A man and a woman kiss passionately at a restaurant until they are interrupted by other people joining them. Many couples are shown kissing and flirting while floating in small rowboats. A teen boy and a teen girl lean in to kiss and are interrupted by a giraffe licking the boy's face (we see the huge tongue draw across his mouth). A man and a woman move toward each other to kiss and she stops, and then kisses him. A man and a woman move toward each other to kiss and the man stops saying that he "...can't do this"; the woman walks away upset. A man and a woman with fish painted on their cheeks kiss several times pretending to be kissing fish. A man tries to kiss a woman twice and she pushes him away.
 Two women hug while wearing someone else's clothing and working in her closet; the home owner and her two young sons come in and take compromising pictures of the hugging women. A man and a woman go on a blind date to a Hooters restaurant.
 Men and women wearing robes are shown and instructed on how to massage each other and we hear some suggestive moaning as we see the men and women rubbing each other's heads and necks; one woman rubs the earlobes of her partner and the man flicks the woman's throat (she complains that it hurts).
 A woman is embarrassed when she runs into a man in a store and she is holding pornographic magazines; the man is embarrassed because he is holding feminine hygiene products. A boy with binoculars watches a woman parasailing and the harness straps at her crotch accentuate her crotch outline; a man nearby says that he saw a "camel." A teen girl watches a teen boy with a dreamy look from afar. People admire a teen girl that has changed her appearance and she is wearing a short dress and makeup.
 A woman talks to a man on the phone in a flirtatious fashion and says, "I am so sore," and then giggles (sexual encounter is implied). A woman on the phone with a man says, "I L-word you so hard" and "I'm going to make L-word to you for an hour and a half." A teen boy grabs his babysitter and she pushes him to the ground; he says, "I love you" as she walks away. A man tells another man and a woman while pointing at a heart-shaped bed that this is where they make more children; the room is decorated with romantic items. A teen boy describes his mother as "friggin hot" and having a "rocking body" as well as other compliments about her physical appearance and people react to his comments as being inappropriate. A teen boys tells three girls that their dad is "pretty hot" and the girls look at him in a confused manner. A woman suggests to another woman that her teen son needs a girlfriend and that her pre-teen son needs Ritalin. A woman writes a note to another woman saying, "You looked so hot in this dress." A woman tells another woman that a dress is a MILF dress and that a woman wearing that dress would be the kind that a man would cheat for. A sexual reference is made about a woman's company name "Closet Queens" and an allusion that the women are gay. People refer to teen girls as teen boys in numerous scenes and the girls become upset. A man calls a teen boy "masturbator." A man asks a woman if she and her business partner are lesbians. A makes a sexually explicit remark to a woman. A man makes reference to "booty calls gone wrong." A man talks about a couple having "alone time." A teen boy tells a teen girl, "There are a lot of hot chicks here," not realizing that the other teen is a girl. A teen girl tells a woman, "Guys assume that I'm a lesbian and not the hot kind." A woman talks about a "flying baby named Cupid." People refer to couples as "love birds" in several scenes. A woman admires another woman entering a room and the song "I Kissed a Girl" plays in the background insinuating same sex attraction. A man gives another man a hard time for not kissing a woman. A man brings a woman flowers and he is intercepted by her ex-husband who says that he will put the flowers by the bed, "Where we make love." A man asks his teen daughter what's wrong with her and says, "Is it the bra? Because if it is, you don't need it anyway," causing the girl to stomp away crying. A teen girl tells her father that she has her period and that she needs supplies. A woman talks about the size of a feminine hygiene product and chooses a different size for a man's teen daughter. A woman talks about being offended by pornographic magazines. A man makes an offensive reference to the size of a woman's breasts. A young girl tells a woman that the girl's father wipes too hard and that "He doesn't have a vagina." A woman cries and says that she should have dressed sexier and tried harder in her marriage (we understand that her husband cheated on her a number of times). A man and a woman talk about having been married in college and being uncomfortable dating again. A young girl asks her father what he misses most about his dead wife and then asks him if he is allowed to tell someone else that he loves her.
 In a romantically appointed hotel room, a teen boy swings around a "stripper pole" and another boy eats a pair of edible panties thinking that they are red licorice until his mother makes him spit it out. Two rhinos are shown mating; one is mounted on the other and thrusting.

VIOLENCE/GORE 3 - A woman rides a small four wheeled vehicle and crashes into t tree; we see the woman thrown and the tree snaps in half (no injuries are seen). A woman attached to a parasail is pulled into the air and she screams in fear; the truck pulling her runs out of gas and she plummets to the ground toward a rhinoceros and she narrowly misses the huge horn on its snout, and then bounces off its back and onto the ground; the parasail pulled behind her knocks a man to the ground (no one is harmed). A man and a pre-teen boy ride ostriches around a ring until the man is thrown and crashes into a watering trough (he is not harmed); the boy is thrown into the air and he does a mid-air flip and lands on his feet unharmed. A man panics and yells when the small boat he is in bumps something in the water and he sees what he thinks are crocodiles; he yells and lights are turned on to show that the creatures are not real; the man says, "You scared a zebra stripe into my shorts." A teen girl uses her shoulder to shove a teen boy on the basketball court; when the boy falls to the ground, the girl stomps on his groin and shoots a basket.
 Several people in a jeep see two lions and a small animal while on a safari; the camera cuts away from the animals and we hear the lions eat the small animal (we do not see the act) causing the children and adults in the vehicle to yell at their guide. A man and a teen boy box and the boy says, "I'm gonna kill you"; the man hits the boy in the head, and the boy charges to man and then punches him in the stomach (the man bends over and holds his stomach). A man nearly falls out of a hot air balloon basket.
 A pre-teen boy swings from the tusks of an elephant statue and his mother yells in fear from the ground (the boy is unharmed). A pre-teen boy swings a flaming shirt around on the end of a stick as he runs through a house and a teen boy sprays it with a fire extinguisher. A teen boy sprays a teen babysitter in the face with a fire extinguisher (we see her completely coated with white foam). A boy squeezes his teen brother's nipples and the teen boy screams in pain. A woman carries her pre-teen son to bed in several scenes and she bangs his head on door frames and walls repeatedly; in one scene she drops the boy on the floor (we do not see injuries).
 A teen boy yells at a man and accuses him of stalking the boy's mother. A woman accuses her ex-husband of having multiple affairs while they were married. A man in baseball stands speaks disparagingly about a boy and the boys' mother and her friend yell at him and threaten him (they talk over each other so it is hard to make out all the names that they call him); the women say things like "I will crush you," "Why don't you try some testosterone," and "take some Cialis." A man and a woman argue in several scenes. A woman and her ex-husband argue in several scenes. A teen boy says, "You're dead" to his younger brother as he chases him out of the room. A woman tells another woman, "You should roofie her and shave her head." A teen boy says "What the fu…" and the F-word is not fully enunciated. A teen boy calls a teen girl a "fugly girl" and a man lunges toward him angrily. A man tells a woman that another woman repulses him hoping to fend off an attack of jealousy (he assumes the two women are lesbians). A woman says that a man is lucky that he wasn't kicked in the genitals by an animal. A man yells that there is a gorilla outside a tent and a woman screams (there was no gorilla). People razz a pre-teen boy as he approaches the plate in a baseball game. A pre-teen girl talks to her dead mother and saves her a place at the dinner table and in a bed in a few scenes. A man tells a woman, "I naturally assumed that your husband shot himself" after the woman tells him that she naturally assumed that he was divorced (his wife died from cancer). A woman says that she is going to end a relationship with a man because he has five children. A man makes fun of how a woman dressed for a date and says that he "...felt like I was in detention." A man makes fun of a woman's work as a closet organizer. A woman talks about her stepchild having "...hatred issues, but it is getting less violent." A child tells her stepmother that the picture she is drawing represents an elephant stomping on the woman's head and "Making her dead." A man talks about the inertia of trying to catch a woman falling out of the sky and that he would have been injured. A man tells a boy practicing baseball to give the pitcher "The stink eye." A woman admits to stealing a dress.
 A man and a woman pretend to be shooting each other with arrows and the woman acts out being struck in the heart (a cupid's arrow); the man simulates vomiting and the woman appears to be pretending to lap up the vomit. A teen boy is wiped out by a wave in a wave pool (no injuries are shown). A boy throws a fit when he strikes out while playing baseball; he pounds the bat on the ground, throws his helmet and rolls around on the ground yelling. A young girl speaks in a deep "demon" voice in a few scenes.
 A woman takes a bite of buffalo shrimp and spits it out complaining of its spiciness (the shrimp is thrown across the table at the man sitting opposite her); the man offers her some soup to cool off her mouth and she guzzles it, but most of it ends up on her face and down the front of her blouse. A boy eats a pair of edible panties thinking that they are red licorice and his mother makes him spit it out. A woman licks her thumb and wipes something off her teen stepson's face (it was a mole). A man urinates outside a tent and we hear the trickling. A man grabs his crotch and adjusts his pants.

PROFANITY 4 - A teen boy says "What the fu…" and the F-word is not fully enunciated, 1 obscene hand gesture, 5 sexual references, 14 scatological terms (3 mild, 1 mouthed), 11 anatomical terms, 6 mild obscenities, name-calling (class act, boobles, weirdness, idiot, liar, dumb, fugly girl, tomboyish, goofy, goonie bird, jerk, love birds, loser, Urkel, Screech, scrawny reject, masturbator, sick dream, buffoon, sick, stupid, home slice, fatties, Frodo, Captain Cheese Sticks, scarecrow, progressive mom, flubby, skeletor, special needs, gorilla, a man's last name is mispronounced in many ways), exclamations (shut up, in the name of Lucifer [said by a young girl]) 24 religious exclamations (e.g. Oh My God, Oh God, God, My God). [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - A woman suggests to another woman that her teen son needs a girlfriend and that her pre-teen son needs Ritalin. A man sitting at a table in a restaurant guzzles his date's beer when he realizes that his own beer is empty, glasses of wine are shown on restaurant tables, a woman drinks a glass of champagne and carries an open bottle with her, and a man and a woman drink beer at a restaurant.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Death of a spouse, death of a parent, divorce, child custody, parenting, responsibility to children, infidelity, hatred issues, growing up, circle of life, replacing a parent, trust, privacy, blended families, same sex partners, African vacation.

MESSAGE - Sometimes first impressions are not definitive.

Special Keywords: S5 - V3 - P4 - MPAAPG-13

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