Become a Premium Member | Only $2 a month

► You're making sure we survive
► Exclusive previews
► No more ads





Although our site is very popular, the current economic climate has reduced our revenues just when we need extra security to prevent attacks from hackers who don't like what we do. If you think what we do is worthwhile, please donate or become a member.


Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

 [more »]

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
1 to 10

MPAA Rating: PG

Family takes in stray St. Bernard puppy, names him Beethoven, grows to love him and ends up pulling together to save him from becoming part of an evil vet's experiment. Charles Grodin stars.

SEX/NUDITY 1 - The husband and wife are seen lying in bed together talking and/or sleeping. Once, the husband thinks his wife is getting frisky, but discovers it's only the dog.

VIOLENCE/GORE 2 - The vet strikes Beethoven to provoke an attack and convince the family to allow him to put the dog to sleep. When the vet and his "dog-nappers" are discovered, a struggle ensues. The vet ends up with a tray of needles in his chest; his thugs get attacked by Dobermans - but we don't see the attack, only the men in bandages afterward.

PROFANITY 0 - None. [profanity glossary]

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Initially, puppies are stolen from a pet store. Later, grown dogs are also kidnapped. Although we never see any harm come to the dogs, the thought of a veterinarian using family pets for experiments may be disturbing.

MESSAGE - Good triumphs over evil as the family saves their dog. For adults, there is the family-is-more-important-than-job missive.

Special Keywords: S1 - V2 - P0 - MPAAPG

Our Ratings Explained

Tell Friends About Our Site

Become a Member

A CAVEAT: We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and some of our early standards were not as stringent as they are now. We therefore need to revisit many older reviews, especially those written prior to 1998 or so; please keep this in mind if you're consulting a review from that period. While we plan to revisit and correct older reviews our resources are limited and it is a slow, time-consuming process.

INAPPROPRIATE ADS? We have little control over ads since we belong to ad agencies that serve ads automatically; a standing order should prevent provocative ads, but inappropriate ads do sneak in.
What you can do



Become a member: You can subscribe for as little as a couple of dollars a month and gain access to our premium site, which contains no ads whatsoever. Think about it: You'll be helping support our site and guarantee that we will continue to publish, and you will be able to browse without any commercial interruptions.


Tell all your friends: Please recommend to your friends and acquaintances; you'll be helping them by letting them know how useful our site is, while helping us by increasing our readership. Since we do not advertise, the best and most reliable way to spread the word is by word-of-mouth.


Alert local & national media: Let major media know why you trust our ratings. Call or e-mail a local newspaper, radio station or TV channel and encourage them to do a story about our site. Since we do not have a PR firm working for us, you can be our media ambassadors.

Copyright © 1992- Critics. All rights reserved. "Kids-In-Mind™" and "Movie Ratings That Actually Work™" are Service Marks of Critics. For legal queries please see our Terms of Use; for comments or questions see our contact page.