A Chicago teacher (Cameron Diaz) is a gold digger who curses students, drinks, and does drugs while on the lookout for a wealthy husband. So, after her rich fiancé dumps her, she pursues a wealthy substitute teacher (Justin Timberlake). A smart-mouthed gym teacher (Jason Segel) pursues her while a coworker (Lucy Punch) is also after the wealthy sub. Also with John Michael Higgins, Molly Shannon, Phyllis Smith, Eric Stonestreet and Thomas Lennon. Directed by Jake Kasdan. [1:30]
SEX/NUDITY 7 - While fully clothed a man and a woman are and simulating sex in a hotel room: they groan and break apart to drink water, she gets on hands and knees and he simulates anal sex against her buttocks, grimacing and saying, "'I'm close" half a dozen times, he stops, she gets up to leave, and we see a large wet stain on the crotch of his jeans; he unzips his jeans and begins to take them off as she leaves and he says he wants to sleep alone (we see his knee-length underwear and bare knees).
► A woman visits a cosmetic surgeon that shows her a woman with an open blouse that reveals huge bare breasts and nipples; the first woman squeezes the woman's breasts and says she wants nipples of the same kind. A woman looks at magazines of movies stars with large breasts wearing low-cut gowns (cleavage is visible), bare-breasted women in National Geographic and computer generated images of herself with larger breasts and nipples. We see a poster-sized photo of bare female buttocks and abdomens on a wall. In a junior high, a principal berates a student for bringing porn magazines to school (we see bare breasts on the cover of one magazine as the principal puts them in a file drawer). A man passes out from alcohol and drugs and falls on top of a copy machine; we later see four nearly nude shots of him lying on the open copy machine (we see his entire bare body except genitals). A teacher wears short, tight, clingy dresses that reveal nearly full thighs, and other times wears tight stretch pants and no underwear (so she says to other teachers) in the classroom and she wears white or gray shirts over a black bra that shows through.
► A woman takes over a student car wash to raise money to buy herself artificial breasts; she wears short shorts that reveal full legs and thighs, and a low-cut, midriff-baring shirt that reveals cleavage, she hoses herself down and jumps on to car hoods to wash them with her body, and wiggles her buttocks and smiles flirtatiously at men (we see a student standing nearby with an erection pushing against his jeans at the crotch).
► A woman quits her job and goes home, and as she walks in the door she calls out a crude sexually suggestive comment about oral sex to her fiancé; she then sees his mother sitting beside him and is speechless, he orders her out, she claims to be pregnant, then admits that she is not, but has nowhere to go, and he tells her to go and she leaves.
► In a bar, an older woman takes a dare from a female friend and says she will talk to a man in the bar; she walks away and the camera cuts to a shot of her dancing with the man as they rub each other's buttocks.
► A teacher says she caught a 7th grade boy being "jerked off" by an 8th grade girl and needs punishment. A woman says that her ex-fiancé was sleeping with someone else (a man) when she walked into the house, was having sex with his dog, and was having sex with his own sister. A woman asks another woman to go out to eat and she replies, "I don't eat muff pie," suggesting lesbian sex. At a parent-teacher meeting, a father tells a female teacher that she has a rocking hot body and hands her money for "class supplies," as a bribe to raise his daughter's grades. A man tells two women that he is against abortion. A woman talks several times about buying new breasts (using a crude term) in order to attract a wealthy man.
► A woman teacher counseling a 7th grade boy about girls, takes off her bra through her sleeve and gives it to him to impress his friends. A 7th grade boy swings a teacher's bra around and impresses his friends.
► A woman stares smiling and open-mouthed at other women three times (it is implied with sexual interest). A woman enters a men's room and sits on a urinal, she talks to two men behind doors in toilet stalls, we see pants down around their shoes, and is told to leave and walks out.
VIOLENCE/GORE 3 - A teacher lines up her class in the gym and asks class-related questions, and with each error, she throws a dodge ball at the student -- she hits a boy in the groin, he groans and a male teacher helps him throw a ball in the woman's face (she is uninjured) and one of the boys has a red scraped face that appears to be from hits with dodge balls.
► A woman enters a teacher's room at night and rubs poison ivy on an apple on the desk, we see the teacher take a bite of the apple and the camera cuts to the teacher with inflammation on her face (several additional scenes show her face turn almost totally brown, and then begin to clear up, smeared with calamine lotion).
► A woman drives backwards out of a parking lot and nearly hits a school bus that slams on its brakes. A woman drives slowly with a passenger, she slams on her brakes and the woman's head hits the windshield, but there is no injury. At a car wash, a policeman driving a squad car looks at a scantily clad woman and hits a parked vehicle twice, puts on his siren and flashing light and speeds away.
► A man on a motor scooter runs into a parked car and yells that he has an injured knee as he walks it off and pulls the side mirror off the car; the car owner shouts and the two men kick each other's vehicles until the first man shows the second man a set of photos to be used as blackmail.
► A teacher shouts at students in her class several times, calls them stupid, and tells them to get serious; she writes "Stupid - stupider" on their class papers several times and shouts that they are "[expletive deleted] morons."
► Police and school officials argue and curse during a meeting, and a teacher is taken outside the school wearing handcuffs and is accused of using drugs in school.
► A teacher keeps notes on other teachers and attempts to have them fired several times; she argues loudly with the principal about this, and he makes a comment about her having had a nervous breakdown three years ago. A teacher reports that another teacher cheated on state tests and uses drugs. A woman accused of drug use shouts, "Check my urine" three times.
► A man and a woman punch each other in the shoulders and laugh.
PROFANITY 8 - About 37 F-words, 10 sexual references, 1 sexually suggestive hand gesture (tongue between fingers to indicate cunnilingus), 17 scatological terms, 21 anatomical terms, 5 mild obscenities, name-calling (loser, Barbie Dolls, Twilight, idiot, stupid, moron, creepy, weird, troll, cockamamie, punk, bums, crybaby, fag, smarty pants, dingaling, gross, monster, doll face), 20 stereotypical references to women, gym teachers, sensitive men, smart kids, drug users, whistleblowers, Japanese, "Orientals," Ethiopians, all Africans, Jews, naïve rich men, 7 religious profanities, 6 religious exclamations. [profanity glossary]
SUBSTANCE USE - A teacher smokes a small bong in her car at school and she tells an approaching student that she is using medicinal drugs, two other scenes show her using a large bong at home, a teacher asks another teacher to "Let's get baked," they take a marijuana cigarette into the gym during a school dance, invite another teacher to join them and all three smoke and one teacher rolls her eyes and giggles as the scene ends. We see a close up of a popping Champagne cork and three dozen teachers in a teachers' lounge drinking from Champagne glasses, one teacher constantly talks to other teachers about going to have a drink and getting drunk, four bar scenes depict men and women drinking from beer bottles and glasses, one bar scene shows a man and a woman drinking cocktails and wine, a woman pours something into a man's last drink in a bar from a small bottle and they go to his office where he passes out on top of the copy machine, we see a woman shake a liquor store door and shout, "Why are they closed?" on Christmas Day, a state school testing official tells an investigation committee that he is a casual drug user and that this explains nearly nude photos of him that they have found, and a teacher has a false bottom in one of her desk drawers where she hides small bottles of liquor, pills and marijuana and while showing her classes movies, she drinks alcohol. A teacher is seen smoking a cigarette while driving.
DISCUSSION TOPICS - Cosmetic surgery, wealth, alcohol and drug abuse, teaching as a profession, standardized school testing, whistleblowers, ingratiating students, dating and marriage, honesty, responsibility, gold diggers and other female stereotypes.
MESSAGE - America needs better teachers, not more plastic surgery.