Become a Premium Member | Only $2 a month

► You're making sure we survive
► Exclusive previews
► No more ads


The Animal



Although our site is very popular, the current economic climate has reduced our revenues just when we need extra security to prevent attacks from hackers who don't like what we do. If you think what we do is worthwhile, please donate or become a member.


Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

 [more »]

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
1 to 10

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Rob Schneider dreams of being a cop but his size and lack of physical prowess are in the way. His life changes though when he's injured in a traffic accident and he needs several organ transplants. A loopy scientist surreptitiously uses animal organs to fix him up and the cop wannabe is now endowed with animal instincts and strange super powers -- as well as animal manners. Also with Colleen Haskell, Michael Caton, Edward Asner and Cloris Leachman. [1:23]

SEX/NUDITY 4 - A man and woman are shown in bed after having had sex; she is in his shirt and he's in a bathrobe. A man thrusts his hips at a mailbox. A man is aroused several times, he excuses himself and we hear animal noises coming from the bathroom. A man and woman kiss a few times. A man caresses a woman's shoulders, a man licks a woman's face, and a woman licks a man's face. A man comes out of a shower bare to the waist. A woman is shown in a really tight and short dress revealing lots of thigh and cleavage. Two women are seen in a TV ad wearing small bikini tops exposing some cleavage. A woman dances in a midriff-revealing costume, and a woman wears a slinky dress which reveals her bare back. An orangutan kisses a woman. A monkey in a nightie is sent to satisfy a man's sexual urges. A man is aroused by a goat in heat (he flirts with her, dances, baas and kisses her). A man licks himself up the leg to the crotch.

VIOLENCE/GORE 4 - A man drives off a cliff, his car rolls many times and stops by running into a tree; then it continues to fall and lands hard, and finally a boulder rolls over it (we see the man holding his leg next to his face and he passes out). A boy nearly drowns in a pond. There are descriptions of crime scenes which involve an attack on a cow and another on a hunter. A man is shot at several times and threatened by an angry mob with guns. A man tries to jump a crevasse, falls and dangles from a vine. A man is attacked by an unknown beast. A man head butts a man in the stomach and sends him flying back into a dumpster. A man runs through an airport, tackles a man and snarls and bites his leg. A man is heard on the phone reporting a robbery and we hear gunshots and yelling. A man is knocked in the face with a dumbbell and a man is knocked from his horse by a tree limb. During the running of an obstacle course a man sets himself on fire, a woman kicks and punches a man, a man throws sand in a woman's face, a man is shot in the chest and a man is shot in the crotch (both are wearing bulletproof vests). An orangutan hits a man in the head five times and they have a raspberry blowing contest. An orangutan also pounds a man's head on the ground and a man pinches the orangutan's nipple to make him stop: they wrestle each other with body slams and choke holds. A man is kicked by a goat and is thrown for several meters. A man chases a cat through a music stand knocking people and instruments; the cat emerges from shrubs missing patches of fur. A woman is shot in the head with a dart and a man is shot in the neck with a dart; they both faint. A rifle falls from a bookcase and fires a shot. A man is shown with a little scar on his chest and a huge scar on his back. A group of children handcuff a man to some shelves then hit him with a stick and spray-paint his shirt. A man digs in the garbage for a bone, and a man wakes up in a butcher shop surrounded by half-eaten meat parts. A man sits at a table full of bones after having eaten all the meat. A man urinates and passes gas in a men's room, and later he urinates on a restaurant dining table and the front stoop of a house. A man sniffs another man's behind, sticks his hand in his pants, feels around his behind and pulls out a balloon full of drugs. A man barks violently at some gang members. A man chews up a worm and allows a turkey vulture to eat it from his mouth. A badger is shown attached to a milking machine. A dog jumps on a man and bites him and later chases him, and other dogs sniff a man's behind. A man swings from tree to tree to escape being shot. A truck drives recklessly and flips over a tree stump. A man coughs up a huge fur ball. A lion attacking a caribou is shown on TV. We see a couple of scenes from the perspective of an attacking animal; we hear growling, the camera moves frantically, and in one scene a man tries to run but trips and falls down. Nothing else is evident.

PROFANITY 4 - 1 F-word derivation, 8 scatological terms, 4 sexual references, 9 anatomical references, 10 mild profanities, 5 insults and some namecalling. [profanity glossary]

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Reverse racism, fitting in, wanting to please a parent, being lonely, bestial behavior, bestiality.

MESSAGE - There's someone for everyone.

Special Keywords: S4 - V4 - P4 - MPAAPG-13

Our Ratings Explained

Tell Friends About Our Site

Become a Member

A CAVEAT: We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and some of our early standards were not as stringent as they are now. We therefore need to revisit many older reviews, especially those written prior to 1998 or so; please keep this in mind if you're consulting a review from that period. While we plan to revisit and correct older reviews our resources are limited and it is a slow, time-consuming process.

INAPPROPRIATE ADS? We have little control over ads since we belong to ad agencies that serve ads automatically; a standing order should prevent provocative ads, but inappropriate ads do sneak in.
What you can do



Become a member: You can subscribe for as little as a couple of dollars a month and gain access to our premium site, which contains no ads whatsoever. Think about it: You'll be helping support our site and guarantee that we will continue to publish, and you will be able to browse without any commercial interruptions.


Tell all your friends: Please recommend to your friends and acquaintances; you'll be helping them by letting them know how useful our site is, while helping us by increasing our readership. Since we do not advertise, the best and most reliable way to spread the word is by word-of-mouth.


Alert local & national media: Let major media know why you trust our ratings. Call or e-mail a local newspaper, radio station or TV channel and encourage them to do a story about our site. Since we do not have a PR firm working for us, you can be our media ambassadors.

Copyright © 1992- Critics. All rights reserved. "Kids-In-Mind™" and "Movie Ratings That Actually Work™" are Service Marks of Critics. For legal queries please see our Terms of Use; for comments or questions see our contact page.