Movie ratings that actually work

 
 

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» We enable adults to determine whether a movie is appropriate for them or their children, according to their own criteria. Unlike the MPAA we do not assign an inscrutable rating based on age but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE & PROFANITY, on a scale of 0 to 10, and we explain in detail why a film rates high or low in a specific category; we also include instances of SUBSTANCE USE, a thorough list of DISCUSSION TOPICS that may elicit questions from children, and the MESSAGE the film conveys. Since our system is based on objective standards, not the viewer's age or the artistic merits of a film, we enable adults to determine whether a movie is appropriate for their own children...

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NEW REVIEWS - 


Dark Shadows - 4.6.4

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

complete content analysis

A witch (Eva Green) is angry that a rich man (Johnny Depp) spurned her, so in retaliation she puts a spell on him in 1772, burying him alive as a vampire. Then he's accidentally dug up in 1972, and finds out that his descendants on the family estate are so dysfunctional that the matriarch (Michelle Pfeiffer) pays a live-in psychiatrist (Helena Bonham Carter). The vampire aims to set things straight. Also with Christopher Lee, Chloe Grace Moretz, Gulliver McGrath, Jonny Lee Miller and Jackie Earle Haley. Directed by Tim Burton. [1:53 - PG-13]


The Avengers - 2.7.3

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

complete content analysis

When a blue cube opens a door to other worlds and the evil deity Loki (Tom Hiddleston) comes through and starts turning humans into his minions, Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), the Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Captain America (Chris Evans) and other superheroes come together to protect humanity. Also with Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston, Clark Gregg, Cobie Smulders, Stellan Skarsgård, Samuel L. Jackson, Gwyneth Paltrow and Paul Bettany. Directed by Joss Whedon. [2:22 - PG-13]


Darling Companion - 4.3.4

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

complete content analysis

The story of an empty nester (Diane Keaton) that rescues a dog along a freeway. But after the dog runs away on a walk, she must confront her disappointment with her husband (Kevin Kline), an emotionally distant surgeon. Also with Dianne Wiest, Richard Jenkins, Elisabeth Moss, Sam Shepard and Mark Duplass. Directed by Lawrence Kasdan. [1:43 - PG-13]


The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel - 4.3.5

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

complete content analysis

Several retired English men and women, including a newly widowed woman (Judi Dench), a couple (Bill Nighy and Penelope Wilton) that has lost its savings, a woman (Maggie Smith) with no family and no job and nervously awaiting a hip replacement, a judge (Tom Wilkinson) returning to his childhood home, a man (Ronald Pickup) looking for a new life and a new woman and a multiple divorcée (Celia Imrie) looking for a new husband travel to India to try out a ritzy new retirement hotel. When they arrive, they find it's not so ritzy. Also with Dev Patel, Tena Desae and Diana Hardcastle. Directed by John Madden. [2:04 - PG-13]


the listings continue below...


NOW PLAYING IN THEATERS - 


Safe - 0.8.6

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

complete content analysis

Jason Statham stars as a man with a dark past, suffering from guilt. When his wife is murdered, he becomes homeless and wanders the streets until one day he encounters a 12-year-old girl (Catherine Chan) hiding from Russian thugs. When he takes them on to protect her, he doesn't know just how deeply involved he will become. Also with Chris Sarandon, Anson Mount, James Hong, Reggie Lee, Robert John Burke, Sándor Técsy and Joseph Sikora. Directed by Boaz Yakin. [1:35 - R]


The Raven - 2.8.5

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

complete content analysis

Edgar Allen Poe (John Cusack) helps a police detective (Luke Evans) track down a serial killer that is using Poe's stories to stage killings; plus, he has kidnapped Poe's fiancée (Alice Eve) as his next victim. Also with Brendan Gleeson, Sam Hazeldine and Oliver Jackson-Cohen. Directed by James McTeigue. [1:50 - R]


The Pirates! Band of Misfits - 2.3.2

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

complete content analysis

Animated feature about a pirate (voiced by Hugh Grant) and his loser crew that dream of finally winning the annual Pirate of the Year Award against their archenemies (voiced by Jeremy Piven, Lenny Henry and Salma Hayek). The pirates must survive dangerous voyages from Blood Island to foggy London, but Queen Victoria (Imelda Staunton) presents obstacles for them in this Victorian-era "reality show." Also with the voices of Martin Freeman, Al Roker, Brian Blessed, Brendan Gleeson, David Tennant and Ashley Jensen. Directed by Peter Lord & Jeff Newitt. [1:27 - G]


The Five-Year Engagement - 7.4.9

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

complete content analysis

A man (Jason Segel) proposes to a woman (Emily Blunt) and they begin planning their wedding and their future together; when she is offered a post-doctoral position at a university in Michigan, they leave their San Francisco home thinking it will be a two year delay in their plans. But it doesn't turn out that way and as more time passes, it becomes harder and harder to pin down a wedding date. Also with Chris Pratt, Alison Brie, Rhys Ifans and Kevin Hart. Directed by Nicholas Stoller. [2:04 - R]


The Lucky One - 6.5.4

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

complete content analysis

A U.S. Marine (Zac Ephron), on his third tour of duty in Iraq, finds a discarded photo of a woman (Taylor Schilling). Keeping it in his pocket, he is convinced that the image saved him from death several times and when he returns home, he walks across the country on foot in search of the woman in the photograph. He finds more than he bargained for, but also more than he dreamed. Also with Blythe Danner, Jay R. Ferguson, Riley Thomas Stewart and Joe Chrest. Directed by Scott Hicks. [1:40 - PG-13]


Chimpanzee - 0.3.0

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

complete content analysis

The story of a chimp followed from his birth to when he is separated from his chimpanzee group and then unexpectedly adopted by the leader of his pack. Narrated by Tim Allen. Directed by Alastair Fothergill & Mark Linfield. [1:18 - G]


Think Like a Man - 5.2.5

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

complete content analysis

Tired of trying to figure men out, four women (Meagan Good, Regina Hall, Taraji P. Henson and Gabrielle Union) decide to behave just like them in the arena of love, after reading Steve Harvey's book "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man." The women apply the tenets of the book, but their men (Michael Ealy, Jeremy Ferrara, Terrence Jenkins and Romany Malco) realize what is happening and vow to fight back. Also with Steve Harvey, Kevin Hart, Jennifer Lewis, Sherri Shepherd, Wendy Williams and Chris Brown. Directed by Tim Story. [2:00 - PG-13]


Delicacy - 4.3.5

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

complete content analysis

Film about the life of a woman (Audrey Tautou) who has to overcome the sudden death of her husband and soulmate. She throws herself into her work for years, but surprises all of her friends when she suddenly becomes involved with an unlikely co-worker. Also with Francois Damiens, Pio Marmai, Melanie Bernier and Bruno Todeschini. Directed by Stephane Foenkinos. In French with English subtitles (original title: "La Delicatesse"). [1:48 - PG-13]


Monsieur Lazhar - 1.4.4

Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

complete content analysis

A middle-aged Algerian refugee (Mohamed Fellag) offers his services as a teacher after learning of an elementary school teacher's death. He soon finds himself torn between comforting the grieving students and overstepping the strict rules of teaching. Also with Sophie Nelisse, Emilien Neron, Danielle Prouix and Brigitte Poupart. Directed by Phillppe Falardeau. In French and Arabic with English subtitles. [1:34 - PG-13]

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